Page 57 of Risking it All

“They’re precious together,” Demarius’ mom whispered as she leaned a shoulder against the entryway to the kitchen.

“Yeah.” I stood, not knowing what to do with myself. Normally, I could talk to anyone about anything. But something about adults who made a shit ton of money made me mute, especially since she probably heard that exchange. “Thank you for today. I appreciate it.”

“You and your sister are always welcome here. Joppa took to Camila, so I’m sure she’ll be begging for a playdate again soon. Do you mind if Demarius gives me your cell number so we can set something up? Or if you’re comfortable, you could give it to me now.”

A part of me cringed because there was no way I could offer to reciprocate, but being a survivor, I said, “Yeah, that’d be great.” Because that meant I had one more safe place to take my sister to so she could escape the hellscape that was our life.

Demarius’ mom took out her phone, I rattled off my number, and then hated myself for having to take Camila home. But my sister was passed out on their couch, and I didn’t want to overstay our welcome. “I’ll get her things together, change her back into her clothes, and we’ll get out of your hair.”

As I went to gather what little Camila brought with her, Demarius’ mom came into the living room. “You don’t need to. Go out and have fun with your friends. I’ll keep an eye on them. They played so hard today I’d be shocked if they twitched let alone woke up. Even if they did, it’s not a big deal. If you want, she can stay the night. Lev’s already staying. It’ll be one big slumber party.”

So easy. So kind. I wondered what the hell it would be like to feel as if anything wasn’t a big deal. “You sure?”

“My son smiled today.” Demarius’ mom looked like she could cry, yet she was smiling. The combination of the two emotions confused me. “I never want this day to end.”

Neither did I.

Chapter twenty-six

Macie

In the media room in the basement, we sat on the longest, overstuffed U-shaped couch I had ever seen. Demarius and Lev scrolled through movie choices, trying to figure out what we should watch as I finished fishtail braiding Melanie’s hair. When Relic walked in, I automatically smiled, and he winked at me as he sat beside me.

“How’s Camila?” Demarius asked.

“Sound asleep next to your sister,” he said. “Your mom said she’s cool to stay the night. I don’t want to overstay our welcome, though, so if you think I should pack it in, I will.”

“You’re not overstaying anything,” Demarius answered. “I swear, Mom’s eating this up. It’s been a long time since I’ve had friends over, so she’s in heaven.”

I twisted Melanie’s hair tie around the end of the braid and glanced at Demarius. He was a year younger than me, and while Demarius and I didn’t run in the same circles, Demarius andSeth did. In fact, I was under the impression that Demarius was a popular guy.

“Why haven’t you had anyone over?” Melanie asked what I couldn’t seamlessly ease into the conversation. “At school, you have a ton of friends. At least during lunch, you sit at a table with a ton of people.”

For someone I’d initially assumed only focused on herself, Melanie saw a lot.

Demarius flipped the remote in his hand as he struggled to find an answer. I contemplated breaking the silence with a change in subject when Lev beat me to it first, “Thanks for tonight. You all don’t know how much this means to me.”

“We’ve all had fun,” I said, and then came a chorus of agreements.

Lev fidgeted with the friendship bracelet Melanie had given him when we first arrived, and he now wore it proudly on his left wrist. “I’ve never told anyone about my dad before.”

Silence, as we all had something we’d never told anyone, and we all respected and envied Lev for being brave enough to talk.

“I don’t care when people at school bully me. I don’t care if people blow me off because they think I’m weird, but I do want Dad to like me.” Lev paused then continued, “It’s also weird because I want to get the hell out of my home more than I want anything else. How can I want someone I hate to love me?” More silence, then he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him, “It’d be easier if I did hate him. I wish I did.”

He hung his head and then glanced up, “Anyway, thanks, Demarius. I promise, you saved me from all sorts of hell tonight.” Lev forced a tilt up of his lips, but we all felt the impact of the implication of what his home life was like. Even Relic winced.

“I’m the one who should be thanking you,” Demarius said, and we all looked at him. “I haven’t talked to nearly any of my friendsin months. I mean, when I’m at school, I fake it so that I’m still accepted. But you all are the first people I’ve been comfortable around in forever.”

I nodded along because I felt the same way, but I couldn’t form the words to express it. Demarius must have caught the motion and he looked at me. “How do you do it? How do you keep moving forward when it had to feel like everything stopped?”

I sucked in a shuddering breath, and Relic reached over and placed his hand on my wrist. His touch was warm, strong, a reassurance I desperately needed. “I don’t.”

“That’s bull,” Demarius said. “I see you at work. You’re a rock star.”

“But I didn’t go back to school,” I pushed back. “I couldn’t. I have to go back in the fall, and that scares the crap out of me. I fake it at work. I’m okay during the day, but at night, I’m ready to burst out of my skin at any moment. And besides Ariel, I don’t talk to my old friends. It’s like I live on another planet now. Everything is changed.”

“It is possible,” added Lev. “Living on another planet that is. If aliens can come here, surely we can go there.”

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