Page 35 of Risking it All

“I am,” I admitted, and I laughed when she smiled in shock and irritation at my truth.

“I should get up,” she threatened.

“You can. Offer to sit someplace else still stands.”

“You had a crush on me.” And the balance of power shifted. Well done, Mazie Hutchinson. Well done.

I could have denied it, but what was the point? “Have.”

Her forehead furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“You said I had a crush on you. I corrected the verb.”

Macie froze like a deer, and I moved the conversation forward. “But then again, who hasn’t had a crush on you?”

That kicked-started her as she rolled her eyes. “Easy answer. No one.”

So, she was choosing denial to handle the conversation. “Naw, that’s wrong.”

“It’s right.”

“Macie,” I hesitated to find the correct words. “You’re a fucking goddess. Gorgeous inside and out. You don’t notice everyone falling all over you because you see more than high school. You see your future, and that’s where you get your power. For three seconds, I’d love to be inside your mind just to have an ounce of an idea of what that feels like.”

The softening in her eyes and face made her look so damn exquisite it hurt. Macie’s muscles relaxed, but she still kept a safe distance from my body. “I bet you say that to all the girls who you’re trying to kiss.”

“I honestly don’t say much to them other than asking if they’re game to make out.”

“Do you want to kiss me?” she asked in a whisper.

“Yes.” More than I had ever wanted to kiss anyone in my life.

The nerves radiating from her felt like wind off an icy lake, but the way her fingers found their way to my arm and caressed my skin told me spring might be on the way. She studied me, and I gave her time. She finally said, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

Now, nerves invadedmybody. “I’ve never kissed anyone I liked before. Do you think it’s different?” I hoped it would be. I hoped it would be explosive, mind altering, and give me memories I could hold onto when the world became cold all over again.

Macie glanced at her fingers that had made their way to my wrist. She made slow, seductive circles that were turning me inside out in the best way possible. “I can’t do a relationship. Besides the fact I’m messed up in my head, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship. Not in high school. My parents did that, and while I’m glad they did and they’re super happy, I also know they sacrificed things they wanted in life to be together so young. I don’t want that. I’m not ready to sacrifice my dreams for anyone.”

It broke my heart how different and similar Macie and I were. Taking a risk, I slowly reached out to her, inching at a snail’s pace to caress her cheek. She didn’t pull away, but instead met my gaze. Her eyes filled with trust, and my fingers slid against her soft skin.

Relationship? There was nothing redeemable inside me to consider having one of those. I had nothing worth offering to anyone, especially someone as wonderful as her. I was an empty vessel, all hollowed out. “Then I’m your man. I don’t do relationships, either.”

She tilted her head. “What happens? We kiss and then you act like I never exist? Maybe you forgot, but I still need a ride to work.”

Act like she never existed? It could never happen. Since the moment she stepped into that classroom, Macie Hutchins had always existed for me, but she and I would never work—at least not long term. “You and I have a mutual need. You need me to drive, and I need that ride. Nothing will change that.”

“You could drive me and ignore me. I don’t want to mess up being friends.”

Friends. I didn’t have many of those. Marsh was my best friend—my only friend. Everyone else drifted in and out of the periphery. Were we becoming friends? I stroked along her cheek again, and she leaned into my touch. God, she had the softest skin and the most beautiful dark eyes I could get lost in forever.

“You don’t want to kiss, we don’t kiss,” I said. “It’s as easy as that. But if you want to kiss, I swear to you, nothing will change.”

Macie bit her bottom lip and her doing so only brought my attention to her perfect mouth. “I’m not sure it works that way.”

“Don’t get lost in movies. Feelings and kissing don’t have to mix. Attraction and love aren’t synonymous. That’s all bull made up by someone trying to sell you impossible ideas by heartbroken romantics. But it’s okay if you don’t want to kiss. You stand up, start walking, and I’ll join you inside. We’ll stay for as long as you like, I’ll bring you home, and everything goes on the way it did before.”

She swallowed and I watched her delicate throat move, wondering what it would be like to press my lips there. Her fingers slid up my arm, causing heat to surge through my blood. Did she have any idea how her touch affected me? “And if we kiss?”

“Then we kiss, have some fun, and then the world goes on exactly how it had before.”

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