Page 70 of Risking it All

“We have rules.” Dad glowered at Mom like he didn’t know who she was, and then turned that disappointing narrowed stare to me. “You want to date someone, then we meet them, and you don’t date alone.”

“Do you have any idea how archaic and masculine toxic that sounds?” I interjected. “I’m a girl, so therefore I don’t know my own mind and can’t make my own decisions without my father’s permission.”

“When you became old enough to date, you agreed to these rules,” Dad pushed as Mom said, “Macie, it would be very wise for you to walk away. Noah, you and I need to take time out to talk this through.”

But I was already saying, “You made rules that I had no choice but to accept when I was fourteen. I’m going to be eighteen soon. An adult. A person who can make their own decisions without you. What’s the difference between the few months of seventeen and eighteen?”

“At some point, the two of you should listen to me,” Mom said, “Because we’ve been on this hamster wheel between the two of you since sixth grade, and at the end of a fight, you two usually say I was right. How about we listen this time, okay?”

Yet Dad continued, “We made rules because we know how dangerous the world is. Our rules are there to help protect you.”

My entire body twitched as something deep within me snapped. “Protect me? I wasn’t on a date when someone shot me. Twice.”

As soon as I said the words, I regretted them as Dad looked like I open-palm smacked him in the face.

“Macie,” Mom said in a gentle warning. “Now I’m telling you to go upstairs and take a deep breath before we continue this conversation. Noah, take a walk outside.”

“With everything you have going on,” Dad said like Mom hadn’t spoken, “you think having a boyfriend is wise?”

“So, wait,” I said. “Let me make sure I have this correct. First, you’re mad because I want to make my own decisions regarding who I date, and now your defense is that you’d rather I be alone for the rest of my life?”

“I didn’t say that,” Dad argued. “I asked if you think being involved with someone now is the best choice. You have a ton going on and it’s easy for some guy to come in and take advantage of you.”

My spine straightened. “So that’s what I am now? Broken glass who isn’t capable of making her own decisions? Wow, I am so glad we’re having this conversation. I feel seriously supported, and I one hundred percent believe you’re here for me anytime for anything.”

As Dad went to open his mouth for rebuttal, Mom interjected, “Is that what you did? Take advantage of me?”

Dad turned and looked at Mom with a serious glare that would have made me wither, but Mom stared back at him as if she could withstand hurricane force winds without blinking. “That was different,” Dad pushed.

“Really wasn’t,” Mom replied.

Dad ran both of his hands in frustration over his face. “What happened to taking a moment before we speak?”

“You two, like usual, sprinted past that because you’re both incredibly stubborn, so obviously, we’re playing by the rules you two made up. I’ll ask again, did you take advantage of me?”

“Macie’s situation is a hundred percent different. I’m looking out for her best interests. I’m trying to protect her.”

“Like how my dad was looking out for my best interest? Like how my dad was trying to protect me? You loathed how he judged you all in the name of protecting me, and you know how much I hated him for trying to control me.”

“I am not your father, and I am not controlling Macie.”

“Sure sounds like to me,” I tossed out.

Mom narrowed her gaze at me. “And you—you needle your father at every turn. You are so determined you’re right in the situation that you don’t take two seconds to see anything he’s saying from his point of view.”

“His point of view is wrong!” I spat.

“And your father had good reasons to hate me,” Dad continued his defense.

“We can’t protect her from everything,” Mom bit back.

“The fuck I can’t,” Dad snapped, and I flinched because while I knew Dad cursed, he never did it in front of us kids.

“She’s going to get hurt, Noah. Our job isn’t to stop it. Our job is to be here when she needs us.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“What are you going to do? Lock her in her room? Forbid her from seeing this boy? Crush her dreams and her freedom so you can sleep better at night? You and I made a promise to each other when we decided to have children—it would never be about us, it would always be about them. Who are you trying to protect? Her or yourself?”

---