Page 97 of Finding Delaware

Coughing nervously, I lick my lips and tug my beanie down over my ears. “Yeah, weird, huh? Just never thought about it until now.”

Let’s be honest, my childhood was shit. And building snowmen when you’re a teenager sounds lame as fuck, but now I kind of want to do stuff with Huck that I’ve never done before. Like building snowmen and going ice fishing, apparently.

“Well, now I feel bad.” He squints with pursed lips at the monstrosity we made, and it’s so fucking cute that an overwhelming urge to press against those lips with my own hits me like a steamroller. His gaze swings to mine as he goes still, eyes darkening from whatever he sees on my features. We’re standing so close that I can see the flakes of snow gathering on his lashes, but it’s still too far. I want to feel his breath on my skin, feel its warmth soak into my bones.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m leaning in closer, gaze bouncing between his eyes and mouth as his nostrils flare. His chest hitches, gloved fingers clenching at his sides, and a small gasp leaves his lips when I get close enough for our noses to touch. I mean to capture it, to open my mouth against his and taste what I’ve been craving since he ordered me out of the shower four years ago. Before we can connect, though, he jerks back so hard that he nearly slips on the ice.

On reflex, my hand shoots out to steady him, but he smacks it away. His cheeks are red, pupils dilated. Not in desire, no…

In anger. Wrath.

Pure, unadulterated rage.

Shit. I fucked up.

“Huckslee, wait!” I shout as he spins around and runs toward the cabin. It’s more of a fast shuffle, really, because of the ice, but I can see the tension in his back even through the snowsuit, chords taut in his neck. He gets inside before I do, and when I enter the cabin, I find him in the kitchen with his hands in his hair and shoulders heaving.

“Hey, look, I’m sorry–”

He whirls around, cutting me off with the wild look in his eyes. “What the fuck, Taylor? What was that?”

I raise my hands up, palms out, as I take a cautious step toward him. “It-it was an accident, okay? I just got caught up in the moment. I won’t do it again.”

I’ll try. Lord, I’ll try because how he’s looking at me right now makes me terrified that I’ve chased him away again.

“What makes you think that you have the right to touch me?” His voice rises steadily, basically shouting. “What makes you think you can kiss me, Taylor? After everything?”

I flinch hard enough to clack my teeth together, and the blood rushes to my ears. “I know. I know, Huck, I’m sorry. Please. It was a mistake.”

Please don’t pull away from me again.

He’s across the kitchen in two strides, in my face, with his lips curled back. “What do you want from me, huh? Why the fuck won’t you leave me alone?!”

I could point out that he was the one who invited me outside, but I don’t. Instead, I stand there while he screams at me, my heart squeezing like it’s in a vice, memories from my worst nightmares flashing in my vision. Everything but Huck’s furious voice fades around me, and I shut my eyes to try andblock out the visions that want to pull me under. Ones that I’ve spent years in therapy trying to cope with.

My father’s fists on my body.

Broken bones.

Blood, blood everywhere, soaking into the bathroom tile.

“Don’t you fucking leave me here alone, Huck! Don’t you fucking dare.”

Breathe. Please, baby, breathe.

Don’t bleed out, don’t bleed out, don’t bleed out.

“Answer me!” Hands wrap around my throat, slamming me into the kitchen counter, and my eyes fly open to meet Huckslee’s, black with venom. “What. Do. You. Want. Taylor?”

He’s not cutting off my air, but nothing comes out when I open my mouth. I’m frozen in place while pain shoots down my arm like it did the night I snapped my collarbone trying to save him.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

“What is it, huh?” Huck presses into me, grinding our hips together, and with a shock, I realize that he’s hard as steel. “You wanna be my sissy bottom bitch, is that it?”

Will that make you forgive me?

His lips find my jaw, licking and nipping his way up to my ear as my cock starts to swell from the pressure he’s placing on it. “You want me to own you, Taylor? Take away your choices while I fucking use you? Like you did to me?”

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