Page 170 of Finding Delaware

A few ladies near the entrance eye me with interest, but no one stops me as I step into the house and take in what I can only describe as utter chaos. People areeverywhere, wall to wall, bass pounding so loudly from massive speakers that I can feel it vibrating through my feet. The crystal chandelier above my head even shakes, and I step to the side in case it detaches and crushes me. My body accidentally collides with someone playing beer pong near the entryway, causing them to spill their drink down their front. Before I can shout an apology,I’m shoved back so hard that I trip over a twisted rug and fall on my ass with a wince.

No one helps me up. No, these people just step on my fucking fingers where I sit on the ground in front of a sweeping staircase, and I scramble to my feet as the crowd forces me into a living room. More tables are set out for pong games, strobe lights blinking while couples make out on the couches, and I have to do a double take because did I just see what I think I saw?

Yep. Totally did. There are two women literally fucking each other on the coffee table while bystanders cheer them on. Holy hell. And I thought the parties Christian and I used to throw were wild. This is on a whole other level.

Still no sign of Huck. I start asking around, tapping people on the shoulder to shout in their ears if they’ve seen him, but I’m either met with blank looks or head shakes. One guy mistook me leaning in for an invitation and planted a kiss on my cheek, prompting me to quickly run in the opposite direction, wiping his spit off my skin. Desperation claws at me as I continue searching, feeling disoriented and fucking exhausted from the long drive.

Tears prick the corners of my eyes as I step into the kitchen, blinking them away while I rest my aching shoulder against the wall to catch my breath. I’m about to pull out my phone to call him when a loud laugh draws my attention. I turn toward the back door and see a group of guys gathered around a firepit in the backyard, Golden Bears colors adorning their varsity jackets.

Football players. I recognize them from the games I watched Huck play. Shoving off the wall, I weave through thecrowd and head outside. As I make my way over, a few of them raise their brows at me when I enter their circle, but luckily, the music is muffled enough out here for them to hear me speak.

“Hey guys, I’m looking for Huckslee Davis. Anyone seen him?”

A player to my right flicks his gaze over me with a smirk. “Maybe. Who’s asking?”

Some teammates snicker, one rolling his eyes, and I scrub a hand down my face.

“I’m his, uh...stepbrother. I drove in from out of town to surprise him, but I don’t know where he is.”

“Oh, shit. My bad. Never knew he had a brother. He’s upstairs with Greg.”

Seriously? He...never told his team about me?

One of them points toward the upstairs balcony, and relief floods my system when I spot Huck’s familiar form leaning against the railing. A smaller guy stands before him, a dark brunette wearing a polo. When he turns slightly, recognition hits me like a punch to the gut.

The boyfriend from his FB profile picture last year.

Huck’s arms are crossed, but the guy has a hand resting on his bicep, standing too close for comfort. My whole body tenses as that asshole stands on his tiptoes and places a fucking kiss on my boyfriend’s mouth. I hold my breath, waiting for something to happen—for Huck to shove him away, to shout, to at least wipe the damn kiss off. But what he does instead has me seeing red.

He smiles.

A bright, luminous grin lights up his handsome face as he reaches out and touches the other guy’s shoulder. Suddenly, I can’t breathe. My vision swims, eyes stinging from tears that threaten to spill over. I bite my lip so hard that the metallic taste of blood assaults my tongue. The roaring in my ears drowns out the thumping music, and I drop my gaze, causing a single tear to leak down my cheek.

He’s never smiled at me like that. Not that I can remember.

And now it all makes sense—why he was so hesitant to pursue anything with me, why he never invited me to come here for his graduation. Because Greg was waiting for him at home. He never planned on this relationship going any further than July.

In a daze, I stumble back into the kitchen, where I find myself standing before the counter cluttered with liquor. A bottle of Kraken Rum catches my eye, jumbled thoughts and feelings swirling around my head. What even was I to him? Just something to pass the summer away? All of the things we said to each other, all of the bullshit we worked through...was it even real?

Did I mean anything to him at all?

My hand slowly rises to the bottle, wrapping around its neck, testing the feel of it as memories flicker behind my eyes.

Harsh words snarled after bruises, my father’s voice inside my head synchronizing with my own, saying things to Huckslee that I never should have said.

The feeling of my bones snapping against my father’s hands, followed by Huck’s arm breaking.

Holding him underwater while he drowned.

The look on his face when that curtain opened right before I almost lost him.

But I did lose him, didn’t I? I never even had him.

Blood, so much blood.

“Stay with me, baby.”

How could I ever believe he’d love me after everything I’ve done?

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