Page 166 of Finding Delaware

“That’s even fucking worse!” With a groan, I rub my palms into my eyes until I see stars. “This is why I don’t say anything. Why I never said anything. Mental health is such a taboo subject that everyone tip-toes around it. Especially the church. And when you consider the reasons I felt the way I did, do you really think I could have talked to anyone about it? Without being told I was a sinner and going to hell?”

“The fact that you think I would judge you on anything you’re dealing with just shows me how far apart we’ve grown.” He reaches up to rub the back of his neck, chewing on his cheek. “Huck, I...I think I need some space. To process things.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say you’rejudging me right now,but I don’t. Instead, I moisten my lips and nod despite the painful thumping in my chest.

“Fine. I can stay with Taylor for the next week until I leave for Cali.”

He nods as well, avoiding my gaze, so I head to my room to repack my bag and grab my suitcase, ensuring I take my laptop, school stuff, and sketchbook. When I return, Logan is still in the doorway, clutching the sleeves of his sweater tightly.

I pause midway to the front door, uncertain. “Can I still stay here when I get back, or should I make other arrangements until August?”

He’s silent for a moment before clearing his throat. “I-I’ll let you know.”

Fine. Whatever.

Let him have his moment to consider my life decisions, but maybe while he’s preoccupied with my choices, he can reflect on his own.

Before I shut the apartment door behind me, I glance over my shoulder to find him staring after me.

“I know you didn’t ask, but here’s some relationship advice. I spent years being afraid to love who I love because of what others think, and so did Taylor. I’d hate to see you lose something good just because your parents disapprove. Choose Salem, Loge. That’s all she wants.”

And with those words, I leave my best friend behind, feeling like I’ve just lost a vital piece of myself.

Taylor

June

“Iswear to God, if you bring me any more dishes, I’ll cut your shoelaces.”

Slamming down the lever on the small industrial dishwasher, I turn to glare at my coworker Eliza as she piles another tub of dirty cups and cutlery into the large sink. Her dark cheeks redden as she glances down at the Balenciaga sneakers on her feet in horror before meeting my gaze.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Fucking try me.” Reaching into the drying rack, I pull out a pair of clean scissors, waggling them at her shoes for emphasis. Not in the mood tonight. Or any night until my boyfriend comes back.

With a huff, she turns on her heel, tightening the dark bun on the top of her head as she pushes open the swinging door that leads out into the bar from the kitchen. “Christian! Come get your boy. He’s threatening violence!”

I’ll show you violence.

Muttering under my breath, I dunk a bundle of dirty spoons underwater, pretending to drown them slowly. Out of my peripheral, Gale, the cook, shakes his large head at me from over the grill, but I just throw him a sour look. Usually, I enjoy being on dish duty more than cleaning tables, but honestly, the last few days have been rough without Huckslee.

That whole week before he left was a dream come true, having him all up in my space and in my bed. Crawling in next to his sleeping body after a long night at work, waking up every morning to my cock in his mouth. Showering with him. My ass twinges when I think about the amount of sex we had. Even though I knew he was trying to distract himself from his fight with Logan, I loved every minute of it. Now he’s been gone for an entire seven days, and I’m fucking miserable.

One more long week to go.

I don’t know if I’ll make it.

“Why you being a moody bitch,pendejo?” Christian smacks my back, causing me to pitch forward, splashing nasty ass sludge water onto my jeans.

Grabbing the sprayer, I squeeze the trigger, hitting him directly in the face. “Fuck off.”

He shouts, raising his arms to shield himself against the stream. “Hey, Juanita! Did you see that shit? Taylor assaulted me.”

Through the open office door in the back, our boss glances up from behind her desk with a smirk. “No hablo inglés.”

“Why does she only pretend not to understand English when it involves you?” Christian clicks his tongue in mock offense.

“Because I’m a delight and her favorite.”

---