Page 132 of Finding Delaware

“You’re not. I’m tired of being back at my parents anyway.”

I’m still reeling. It feels like the floor has been ripped out from under me, careening my body through space. The room falls silent for a moment while we all just process this.

“Congratulations,” I rasp, clearing my throat, “to both of you. This is supposed to be a good thing, yeah? You guys worked hard for this.”

And yet, it feels like the farthest thing from it.

Matty smiles broadly, his eyes lighting up as he thanks me. It’s obvious how excited he is to play for the NFL, even if it looks like Xed’s heart is breaking.

As Huckslee continues to search my face silently, I feel like mine is, too.

Christian pulls Matt in for a hug, and Salem joins in as well, though her attention is on Xed and me.

After pulling away, Christian picks up a ball from the pong table. “Come on, you sad fucks, let’s get this party started. We’re supposed to be celebrating.”

“Yeah. Celebrating.” Xed rubs his eyes as he stands, muttering under his breath. “I need another drink.”

Amen to that.Except I fucking can’t.

He moves toward the kitchen while Matty launches into his plans for Arizona excitedly, not even giving his best friend a passing glance. Huck follows, pulling Xed aside in the entryway to whisper something in his ear, whatever that’s about, so I mumble to Christian that I need to take a piss before hurriedly climbing the steps to the upstairs bathroom.

Once locked inside, I pull a pack of smokes out of my pocket and light one, standing in front of the mirror as I puff on it, staring at myself.

Fuck. Three months. That’s all I have until Matty and Hannah leave. And Huckslee…

My chest feels like it’s beenkicked in.

I just got him back. After four years of pining from a distance, longer if you include high school, I finally get a chance to have him, and yet it’s ending before it can truly begin.

Today was supposed to be a good day. A day of victory. And yet, I feel so lost.

A soft knock at the door pulls me out of my reverie, followed by a deep, familiar voice on the other side. “Taylor.”

Hearing him say my name sends a pleasurable shiver down my spine. Opening the door, I pull Huck inside before closing it again, pressing him gently into the wood before backing up to the sink, afraid to touch him any more than that. He gazes at me with low brows, expression guarded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask quietly around the cigarette, crossing my arms to shield myself from impact.

“I didn’t find out until this morning, and I didn’t want to distract you from the qualifier. I was going to tell you tonight. On the porch.”

Smoke swirls around my face as I exhale, blowing it away from him toward the cracked window. There’s a question on my tongue that I know I need to ask, but the answer terrifies me. Still. It needs to be asked.

“Is this it, then?”

He blinks. “It?”

Nodding, I pinch the cigarette between my fingers and gesture between our bodies. “Yeah, it. Us. Is this the end of the line for Taylor and Huckslee?”

“Do you want it to be?” His throat flexes as he swallows, a pained expression morphing his features, and I pause for a minute.

“You tell me.”

He closes the distance between us slowly, coming close enough for me to feel the heat of his skin. “Did you mean what you texted earlier? Saying I’m yours?”

Studying his face, my gaze bounces between those beautiful, starry eyes and full, pink lips. “Yes. That doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything.”

He dips his head as if to kiss me, but I bring my hand up between our mouths, earning a flash of hurt to bolt across his features.

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