Page 23 of Finding Delaware

That black hole in me opens wider, threatening to tear me apart because Huck had fuckingtried. That day at the wedding, when he’d sat with me. Showing me the track, trying to hang out with me, to be fucking nice to me, but I was a selfish asshole, unable to let something go that happened when we were kids.

We’re almost adults now, for Christ’s sake. No, weareadults. We’re both eighteen and here I am, messing with him like an adolescent. Things need to change.

“You are both grounded until further notice,” Aaron states firmly, turning to look at me from the front seat. “School, practice, church activities, then home. That’s it. No motocross.”

What the fuck?

Rage ignites in my blood, white-hot. All my earlier sentiments of being an adult leave the vicinity as I scoff incredulously. “You’re not my dad.”

Huck visibly stiffens in his seat, waves of anger rolling off him.

Aaron’s lips thin, his dark eyes flashing as he turns around. “That may be true, but you live under my roof and will abide by my rules. And your mother agrees with me.”

Goddammit.

I know I deserve it. Hell, I expected to be kicked to the curb for hurting Huckslee, so I know it could be worse, but taking motocross from me? Seriously? Winter’s coming, and I only have a few weeks before it’s too cold to ride. There isn’t another official race until the spring, but still. The one fucking thing I live for, and now I can’t even enjoy it?

Yeah, I’m pissed off.

“I’m not doing church stuff anymore,” I mutter, throwing my hood over my head as I glare out the window.

He’s been making me go for months now, but I’m done with that shit.

There’s a pause, and I’m expecting him to push the issue, but instead, he gives me a calmthat’s fine, which makes my anger dissipate in a puff of smoke. Ugh, why does he have to be such a good guy? It seriously makes it hard to hate him. Maisie, on the other hand…

She’s standing on the porch waiting for us when we pull into the driveway. Her hand rests on my shoulder when I try to pass her into the house, stopping me, but I refuse to meet her eyes.

“I raised you better than this, Taylor,” she hisses, reigniting my fury, and I yank myself out of her touch.

“Actually, you didn’t raise me at all.Hedid, so what did you expect?”

I’m through the door before she can grab me again, and I ignore her when she calls my name, taking the stairs two at a time before locking myself in my room. My head is throbbing, nausea churning in my stomach from the leftover alcohol and the look on Huck’s face.

But I don’t want to think about it all right now.

So I pull a joint from my bedside table, slide open my window, and light it, inhaling deeply until the paper is ash on my fingers. And then I shove my headphones in, ‘Dethrone’ by Bad Omens filling my ears, before diving under the covers to shut out the entire world.

After hours of silence from Huck, I finally break down and text him.

Me: Hey. You awake?

It’s just after midnight. Besides the awkward dinner Aaron forced us to sit through, we’d both been holed up in our rooms all day. Of course, Huck had talked with his dad, but he ignored my presence. I’d sat there with my head down, purposely not meeting Maisie’s covert glares. When I tried bringing up a conversation with Huck, he either didn’t respond or directed his answer at his dad, and it drove me fucking nuts.

The last few hours have been torture.

Not even the music blasting in my ears could distract me from the video replaying over and over in my head of Huck’s girthy fucking dick, so I tried to occupy my time by doom-scrolling social media. All that resulted in, though, was me stalking my stepbrother’s profile, searching through his friends list for whoever this ‘Royce’ guy is that he’s sending nudes to.

I try to lie to myself, thinking I just want to make sure Huck is safe and not getting catfished or something, but the reality stares me in the face, and I can’t ignore it—I’m fucking jealous. And I have no goddamn right to be.

I need to talk to him, to make this right even though I have no clue how the hell to do it. Yes, we’ve fought plenty in the past. We’ve aimed fists at each other and bruised each other, but this...this went beyond that. This was brutal and angry, and the words I’d said to him…

Like a floodgate bursting open, memories from that day in eighth-grade crash into me like a giant wave.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Slowing to a halt, I bend over with my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath while Xed laughs at me. Checking over my shoulder to make sure our PE teacher isn’t watching, I flip him off with a scowl. I hate running the mile. This shit sucks.

“It’s not even that bad, you puss,” Xed snickers, barely breaking a sweat under the midday sun, and I scoff as I straighten.

---