Page 116 of Finding Delaware

In each other’s arms, Huckslee’s hand resting over my heart.

The first thing I notice when the sun wakes me is that the bed has grown cold.

There’s a vacancy inside me that wasn’t there last night, a gaping void in my being where something vital should have been. When I roll over with a groan and pat the sheets next to me, I find them empty. No warmth, like I’ve been here alone for a while. If it weren’t for the button stuck to the side of my face from ripping Huck’s shirt, I would have believed that last night was a fever dream. The words he’d said when I asked him if we were doing this thing between us pop into my head.

Ask me again in the morning.

I knew he’d run. He always does. I expected it.

So why does it feel like I’m falling apart?

BB starts snorting angrily under the bed, asking for breakfast now that she knows I’m awake, and I rub my eyes with the back of my palms before sitting up. Pain shoots down my arm, collarbone popping, matching the ache that’s in my chest as I swing my feet to the ground and busy myself with feeding her.

He knew. The whole time he was kissing me and giving me the best pleasure of my life, he knew he’d be gone when I woke up.

The reality burns bitterly on my tongue, still heavy with his taste.

Once again, Huckslee Davis breaks my fucking heart. And I can’t even blame him because I was the idiot who gave it to him when I should have known better.

After taking a piss and grabbing a quick shower to wash the scent of him off my skin, I pad out into the kitchen.

And come to a dead halt when I see Christian sitting on the couch in silence, a cup of coffee raised halfway to his lips, sociology homework spread out next to him, an accusing glint in his eye.

He looks at me.

I look at him.

And that’s about when I realize I heard no music coming from his room last night, but I was too caught up in Huck to notice.

Ah, fuck.

“How much did you hear?” I grit through my teeth, scrubbing my face.

His gaze narrows as he takes a loud sip. “Caught the whole show plus the after-credit scene.” He pauses. “Unwillingly, I might add.”

“Fucking great.”

Turning my back to hide my red cheeks, I grab a mug from the cupboard and pop a pod in the coffee maker before searching for some breakfast. He stays silent while I busy myself, the constant slurping from his cup grating on my nerves. Only when I have a plate of toaster strudels and some caffeine do I turn around.

“So tell me,” he starts slowly, scooting over to make room on the couch as I flop down, “how long have you been fucking your stepbrother?”

Oh, my god.

Huckslee

April

Laughter fills the house, little feet pitter-pattering off the tile as my baby cousins ricochet off the walls.

The dining room is packed full, aunts and uncles filling every chair as Dad sits at the head of the table, looking happier than I’ve seen him in a while, enjoying everyone’s company.

We even had to set up a few tables in the foyer to accommodate all the extra people. There’s enough food to feed an entire army since Maisie and Logan’s mom spent days cooking for this. It’s Dad’s first holiday out of recovery, so they wanted to go big and celebrate.

A full house, overflowing with so much family that it’s bursting.

And yet, it feels empty to me because one person is missing.

Where the fuck is he?

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