Page 89 of Born to Make You Smile

In my entire life, I’d never felt so shitty, so completely repulsed with myself.

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I didn’t get home from X-PLORE until four o’clock. Every single muscle in my body, every bone, every hair follicle on my head ached. I was so exhausted that I’d almost fallen asleep in my wig.

I awoke to my doorbell ringing. I glanced at my phone to see the time—11:14 a.m.Holy shit.Then I noticed several text messages and missed calls from Gavin from about an hour ago. Thankfully, I’d remembered to send him a message last night at the club to let him know Igot home safely.

I opened the front door to see a solemn-looking Gavin. Oh God. What happened? My brain immediately went to the worst-case scenario.Are the girls okay?

“Good morning, Gavin,” I said with a hand on my neck. “Happy New Year. Is everything okay?”

He shook his head without a response. His serious expression turned icy, and it made my stomach tumble.

“May I come in?” he mumbled. “It’s rather cold.”

“Of course.” I stepped aside.

He removed his coat and boots, then we moved into the family room to sit down. I offered him a hot beverage, but he abruptly declined.

“So, Grace, how are you feeling?” he asked harshly, not actually sounding concerned with my well-being. He rolled up the sleeves of his gray sweater, revealing his strong forearms.

I smiled, pushing through the awkwardness. “A lot better thanks.”

“I’m glad. A full night’s rest seemed to do the trick.” His tone came across as snarky and sarcastic.

I frowned. “What's wrong? You seem…off.”

“Well, I suppose I should be asking you the same question. Last night, I couldn’t sleep a wink worrying about you. Then, during the wee hours of the morning, I happened to hear a car pulling into your driveway. I went to my window to look. And what I saw was a taxi. A woman who bore a striking resemblance to you but with bright orange hair got out.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I tried to think of an excuse, anything, but at this point, I had nothing. I knew I had to confess. My lies were killing me. Killing us.

“And what a surprise,” he continued. “You didn’t appear sick at all.”

I shook my head, ashamed.

“Now, I think you owe me an explanation. Because my mind is swarming with possibilities. Perhaps I’m, in fact, not enough, and you’re seeking companionship elsewhere with another man. And that kills me because I thought we had something very special.”

“Come on, Gavin. You know I’m not seeing anyone but you.”

His jaw clenched. “Then tell me. Where the bloody hell did you go last night?”

The stark tone and volume of his voice shook me. I inhaled a deep breath. “I work at a nightclub. And they needed me there for New Year's Eve.”

“A nightclub,” he repeated, with narrow eyes.

I tilted my head. “It’s a kink club. Where Dorina’s sister works.”

“What are you doing there?” He drew his head back, looking horrified. “Are you performing sexual favors?”

“No!” I proclaimed. “I’m a bartender and server on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I dress up in sexy costumes, but that’s as far as it goes.”

He shifted on his feet, then rubbed a hand over his jaw. “Why on God’s given earth would you work at a place like that?”

I sighed, unsure if I wanted to tell him everything. How desperate I was for the money. He’d definitely pity me. Or he’d be angry that I didn’t tell him I was struggling. It would open up a whole new jar of turnips.

“It was a favor,” I said. “The club needed help, so Dorina’s sister Vanessa came to me since I used to be a bartender. And the job’s not permanent, only a short-term contract. It’s over at the end of the month. The club is actually really great. And it’s not all sex. It’s about so much more. Sensuality, kink, discovery. The club helped me discover who I am. My asexuality.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m glad it’s a good work environment and that it helped you find your way, but that doesn’t change thefact that you lied to me. I’m so disappointed, Grace.” He put a hand on his forehead. “You led me to believe you were enrolled in an art class. You lied to me last night when you left. You know, if you would have been honest with me, perhaps I would have understood.”

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