Page 34 of Born to Make You Smile

I was so curious to know more about this pup business.

“Yes. When I’m in the pup role, I have ears or a headpiece and a mechanical tail. My collar pretty much stays on me always.” He put a hand on his chain collar, which held a small metal dog tag. “I engage in pet play, which is a type of power exchange where my partner and I enjoy the whole pet role-playing dynamic.”

“This dynamic, it turns you on?” I asked.

“Yeah. But while some parts are about sex and pleasure and all that, for me, it’s so much more. It’s about control and power, self-expression, and an intimate connection with my partner. For example, in some scenes, my owner trains me and disciplines my naughty, bratty behavior, but then he pampers me. Like his little prince. He gives me treats and makes me feel safe and protected. But as I said, I’m a switch, so we change the dynamic depending on the type of dog and scene I'm in. I used to switch between partners, but then I met Felix. My everything.” Joshua put a hand to his chest wistfully. “He comes in mostThursdays, so you’ll get to meet him soon. He’s a switch too. In other scenes, he's a bull, and I’m the border collie that controls him. It's kind of fun since I get to whip him and brand him. And he loves it.”

I rested my head on my hand and listened with focused eyes. Joshua’s world was completely foreign but intriguing to me. It was a whole new realm I wanted to learn more about and absorb.

“You know,” I said, “I had no idea about this kind of play. I think I always assumed BDSM and power exchange was all about extreme pain and control. To be honest, it was intimidating. To me at least.”

“It can include that. But this lifestyle is what you make of it. It’s honestly so varied, and there’s something for everyone. You’ll see when you start on Tuesday. I’m always learning new things. It's mind-boggling to me that people go through life without it. No offense of course.”

I smiled. “None taken.”

I already felt very comfortable with Joshua. He seemed easygoing and understanding. Very open, sharing personal details with a stranger he just met. Perhaps something I could learn from him.

***

Monday morning, Gavin dropped me off at work since he had a meeting, and I had some ordering and data entry to do in his office.

I entered the small room with a groan, looking around. Papers were scattered every which way—files, bills, mini Twizzlers wrappers. Already getting into the Halloween candy.

Naughty dentist.I chuckled to myself.

I got on his chair and swiveled around, scanning the walls surrounding me: the various artwork courtesy of the girls. His awards and certifications. His undergraduate degree from McMaster University. His dental degree from the University of Toronto, where he’d met Judy. She’d become an accountant, and he a dentist.

When I saw the time, I sighed—only an hour had gone by. My morning dragged at a snail’s pace. Working on data entry and updating written procedures was a bore. Eventually, I got so fed up and distracted with the clutter that I decided to clean up.

I glanced around his desk at the odds and ends. His crystal tooth paperweight and several framed photographs. A picture I’d taken of Charlotte and Mackenzie by the giraffes at the zoo last year. Another of the two of them standing under the peach tree. A framed photo of Gavin and Judy with the girls in their backyard about a year before she passed. Judy looked naturally beautiful, her shoulder-length tawny hair blowing in the wind and her beaming smile. Likely unaware of the illness killing her from the inside.

To my relief, there were no photos of Michelle. At least, not yet.

I collected papers, filed away bills, threw out anything distinctly garbage, and put his pens back where they belonged. I opened his desk drawer and found a pack of spearmint gum. I had no idea how old it was, but I popped a piece into my mouth. It tasted all right enough. As I put the pack of gum away, something caught my eye.

A jewelry receipt from a few weeks ago had his name on it as the customer, with his distinct signature at the bottom.

I couldn't help but have a closer look at the paper. The purchase details were vague, just a bunch of handwritten letters and numbers, including 14K and DIA. Perhaps a gold anddiamond necklace or bracelet? Whatever it was, the purchase had to be for Michelle.

My face became flush as I took in the price.

$7,750.00

I wasn't very familiar with the cost of jewelry, but that seemed insanely pricey. While generous, Gavin was reserved with his money. Aside from the Aston Martin he bought last year, he typically didn’t spend money on indulgences. However, a special gift for a girlfriend would be a different story.

I continued to stare at the receipt in my hands, trying to decipher it. My eyes wandered back to the price. Why would Gavin spend this much on jewelry? What a waste. The things I would do with this kind of cash.

Then it occurred to me. What if it was an engagement ring?

No. It couldn’t be.

Things between them may have been more serious than I thought. I recalled Charlotte and her concerns over Michelle becoming her mother. Maybe after that talk about Judy in his kitchen, it had him ready to move on. The idea of him marrying Michelle made me nauseated, sick with a twisted pit of dread in my stomach. She wasn’t the right one for him. He needed a woman who really understood him and who could care for him. Someone to make him smile and laugh. Someone to be there for him and his family through thick and thin.

But then again, I didn’t see their relationship behind closed doors. Perhaps he and Michelle were really in love, and they connected on a deeper level. He had found someone he could share the rest of his life with.

My chest felt achy and hollow.

Suddenly, the sound of Gavin's voice entering the dental office knocked some sense into me, reminding me of how ridiculous I was being.

---