Page 106 of Born to Make You Smile

“Are you mad?” I whispered as we retrieved our coats.

He ran a hand over his chin. “We’ll talk later.”

My muscles sagged, and dread pierced my gut.

He was definitely mad.

As we walked to the car, I lost my footing and slipped on a patch of ice in the parking lot. Thankfully, he reached one of his strong hands in time and caught me before I fell.

“Careful,” he said sternly. He had a hand on my back for the rest of the walk.

He opened my side of the door and waited for me to get in. He couldn’t be that mad if he rescued and opened the door for me, right? I tried to convince myself this was a minor blip. Something we just had to sort though. Then he sat down, started the car and drove without a word. He didn’t look over at me once, but stared forward with a stoic expression on his face.

When we pulled into my driveway, I sighed. “Can you talk to me?

“I don’t even know what to say, Grace,” he boomed. “I’m absolutely furious right now!”

My body fell into the seat. He’d never yelled at me like that before.

“It wasn’t supposed to be a permanent sale,” I said to him in an attempt to alleviate the situation. “I planned to buy the bracelet back, but then…it got sold from under me.”

“I don’t give a shit about the fucking bracelet,” he seethed. “It’s so much more than that. I’ve had enough. It’s too bloody much. Even for me.”

My heart stuttered. “What do you mean?”

“I somehow managed to get over the fact that youlied to meabout your nighttime side job, as difficult as that was. And then I understood when you went to Dorina instead of me when you needed a place to stay. And when I invited you to come live with us, I accepted the fact that you weren’t ready to sell your house and move in. But to go so far and lie to me about your financial problems, then go on and pawn off the bracelet I got you for cash. You’d rather do anything but come to me,” he yelled. “And it speaksvolumes. I'm so hurt I can't even think.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“I can't do this, Grace. I want to take care of you, spoil you, but you won’t let me do that. You even put up a fuss when I send a bloody car to come get you from the sex club in the middle of the night.”

“Maybe I don’t need taking care of,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. “Maybe I don't want the pity and the expectations that come with that. What if you decided to leave? Then what?” I swallowed, then added, “Just like my father.”

He scoffed. “After all this time, do you not trust me? Do you think I'm going to turn around and abandon you like he did?”

“I don’t know.” I bit the inside of my cheek. “I hate feeling like I’m so insignificant in your life. I keep thinking that any minute you’ll decide I'm not worth it. That our relationship is too complicated. The societal pressure will be too much. How can I trust you when you won’t tell anyone about us? When you hide me away, only taking me out way outside the city? I just feel you’ll always put your reputation above our love.”

“Grace.” He exhaled a breath. “That's absolutely not the case. I wanted to wait until we were ready, and clearly, we’re nowhere near ready for that step. Especially with you constantly lying and keeping things from me. Youpromised me.No more secrets.”

I did. I broke my promise. My word. Guilt swam in my stomach like an eel. I was a horrible person. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied. But I know, no matter what, you’ll never be proud of us. You’ll never come out and shout our love from the rooftops.I hate that.”

I blinked tears away.

“You must realize, it’s different for me. Think, if your mother was still around. Would you tell her about us straight away? Do you think she'd approve of our relationship? That you’d be willing to risk it all to be with me?”

A furious knot formed in my throat. “Don't do that. Don't youdarebring my mother into this. She’s gone, okay? And you know what? I love you, and I’d tell her the second we got together.”

“And what if she didn’t approve? Then what? You’d really chose me over her.” He scoffed. “I highly doubt that. You can’t even bear the thought of parting with a single one of her belongings.”

I frowned, my mouth going dry as I took in his cutting words. As hurtful as they were, he was right.

“Gavin. I don’t know what I’d do, okay? I have no fucking idea! Maybe we wouldn’t even be together if she was around. I know you wouldn’t be with me if Judy was still here.”

His expression fell. “I suppose not.”

My stomach hardened at the realization. “Is that all this is then between us? A coping mechanism?”

He shook his head. “Not for me. It’s taken time, but I’ve come to terms with Judy’s death. I’ve finally moved on. I’m ready for a future with you. But I honestly don’t think you are. From what I’ve seen, you haven’t dealt with your mother’s death properly. Your grief consumes you, Grace. It’s affecting you. And us.”

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