Page 55 of Fractured Fear

“What? No. I need to be here. Please don’t make me leave.” Tears well up in my eyes.

I’ve only come to tears a few times in front of Joey. I know it makes him uncomfortable. Hell. It makes me uncomfortable.

Joey deflates. “Calm down, calm down. I won’t make you leave, but if I sense that you’re wavering in the slightest, you’re going home. I’ll drive you myself if I have to.”

My shoulders drop and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Thank you.”

On the mats, I stretch as usual. Hopefully Zane and Rio will get the hint and leave. I can’t fight the darkness with them watching. No one needs to see inside my head and I’m too tired to school my face with every wave of emotion.

By the time I’m done, Zane is next to me stretching as well.

“I’m pretty sure you need to be a member to be over here.”

“Good thing I’m the newest member of Joey’s Gym.”

My jaw drops. “What?”

“Me too,” Rio says from my other side, making me jump.

Fuck. I can’t keep letting them breeze by my defenses.

“I figure if we’re going to do this every day, I’d save money with a membership instead of getting a day pass every time.” Zane’s reasoning has merit, but this is still blowing my mind.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I don’t know what’s so confusing about it,” Rio slows his speech as if I’m not understanding what they’re saying—which I’m not. “We. Got. Memberships.”

I breathe in deep and let it out. Lord, I'm not going to survive these men if they stick around like this.

Normal. I’m getting back to normal. Review what I know:Hetried to take me, but I’m okay. I’m not dead. I’m here getting back to my routine.

But I’m going to have to leave to keep the people I care about safe.

Now review what I feel: Scared that someone got to me so easily. Terrified that the ‘someone’ is my ex-fiancé. Confused as to why Zane and Rio insist on hanging around. They say they're interested, but this feels…different.

This hot detective and sexy lawyer have disrupted everything. A few weeks ago, I never would have allowed two men in my apartment for pizza. I never would have entertained the idea of spending the night, and I can’t ignore them. My body reacts to everything they say and do, betraying my own thoughts in the process. My eyes are constantly drawn to them, it makes me feel like a creep. The number of times I have caught myself staring is embarrassing, and more than half the time they’re staring right back, unapologetically.

My feet follow Joey to the bag hanging along the wall. I wrap my hands and lose myself in the motions.

Right foot slightly in front of my left, feet apart, knees slightly bent. I tighten my core with each swing while Joey stands on the other side holding the bag and watching without judgment. He never would. Instead of judgment, I see concern.

Please not here. I can’t cry here, but I can’t stop the tears from falling. I can’t stop the flashes of memory.

Punch. Jab. One. Two.

Running as he calls out that haunting nickname.

One. Two.

Hiding under the bed as he walks by.

One. Two.

His laughs while I lay broken on the checkered tile.

“Spencer.”

One. Two. One. Two.

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