Page 73 of Cage

But losing Nicki in such a brutal way was an eye-opener.

It took a long time for Cage to get his head around the whole situation.

Cage’s mind was plagued with thoughts that it had been his fault. That he could have done something –anything– differently. That if he had made a different move, Nicki would still be alive today.

Cage’s sergeant had seen it all before.

Experienced it himself.

That’s why Sergeant Mase initially allowed Cage to deal with the grief in his own way. Sergeant Mase gave Cage what he craved… and that was space.

But maybe Mase gave Cagetoo muchspace.

It led to Cage slowly withdrawing from the social side of the police force. He rarely went out for drinks or socialized with his fellow cops anymore.

Cage could feel himself slowly slipping into introspection.

Policy work wasn’t as enjoyable any longer.

It hurt him.

Not as bad as the pain of losing Nicki, but more like a slow-burn pain. The kind that just nags away at an individual.

The end result was that Cage just didn’t work the beat any longer. He had no one to walk the streets with. He simply wasn’t interested in having another partner.

Why would he be?

The risk of going through the agony of losing a partner all over again just wasn’t something that Cage could even contemplate.

No, he decided he would do police work his way.

And that meant staying behind the desk for as much of the time as he possibly could. Cage would go to crime scenes as and when required of course. That was unavoidable and a huge part of solving any case.

But as far as walking the beat went?

No chance.

Cage was done with that.

Well, that was what he’d always assumed. Since spending time with Katie and seeing how change was possible, Cage had begun to very gradually thaw to the idea of hitting the streets again.

It wouldn’t be easy.

There were still major psychological hoops for Cage to jump through. He considered that maybe it was time to see a therapist to talk over Nicki’s death. Maybe even ask for an extended period off work to focus on himself and return as the cop he knew he once was. The cop who he prayed he could be again.

But Cage figured that if he could keep Katie safe, then perhaps he could trust himself to do the same with the good people of New York City again.

With his mood lifted, a sense of genuine optimism came over Cage.

He used this energy to make a decent dent in the stacks of work on his desk. It wasn’t like he’d got anywhere near clearing it, but he absolutely got through more than he normally would.

It was like his old efficiency and gut instinct was trying to get out. One step at a time. Slowly but surely.

Cage even got a compliment of Sergeant Mase.

This was a rare occurrence.

Mase was tough. Old school.

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