Page 2 of Grave Dissonance

“Wake up, Jenny,” I say, gently, as I nudge her. “It’s time for you to get going.”

Jenny’s eyes shoot open and she stares at me with wide blue eyes. “It’s early.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got shit to do.”

I grab her clothes off the floor and toss them to her after ripping the blanket off her body. She says nothing as she gets her clothes on. I like Jenny. She doesn’t overstay her welcome. Maybe I’ll call her up when we’re in Chicago again. I pull out my wallet from the nightstand and pull out a hundred-dollar bill before waving it toward her.

Jenny sneers at me, her eyes slanting as if she’s looking at the most disgusting rodent. “What the fuck is that for?”

“A cab. Maybe some breakfast.”

Jenny smiles before stepping up to me and places her hand on the balaclava covering my face. “I know I fucked a guy in a mask because he’s a member of my favorite band. But I’m not a hooker. I can pay for my cab and buy my own bacon and eggs.” Jenny laughs before pulling out a card from her wallet and shoving it at me. My eyes glance down at the vanilla-colored business card. Dr. Jenny Spencer, M.D. “We aren’t the same girls from the sixties. Women like to fuck, and many of us want nothing other than a wonderful orgasm.”

With that, she flips her long hair and storms out of my hotel room.

As soon as Jenny leaves, I plop my ass on the bed and rip off the mask, rubbing the five-o’clock shadow along my jaw.

Ten more hours until I’m on that stage. Ten more hours until I feel peace. The issue is, what the fuck am I supposed to do to calm my fragmented brain until then? But with the thought of the blissfulness I’ll soon feel onstage, the worry creeps in, contemplating about what will happen after. When I see him.

My hands grip the left side of my chest, and my breathing quickens. I worry about the racing of my heart, the thought leaping into my mind. My eyes scan the room. A lamp, the television, and a dresser. I close my eyes and listen. Car horns, the radio, and my breathing. I crack my neck, get up, and fist my hands.

Tonight we’ll travel on the bus. Once, the tour bus was a source of excitement, but now it induces waves of anxiety and sends shivers down my spine. The small space didn’t suffocate me. It was the opposite. The tour bus was a place of comfort. Now that feeling is the opposite. That’s probably why I’ve been hosting girls on the tour bus every night. Partying keeps the fuckin’ intrusive thoughts at bay. Thoughts that make me stare at my best friend like he’s my salvation in my dark, dystopian demonic hellscape.

Every time I see Iggy naked, I fiercely battle against my destructive desires. At first, the longing urges were in passing. I chalked them up to being turned on by the naked bodies and lude sexual acts. Iggy is a good-looking guy, and just like I’d watch a porn star fucking and get ahard-on, it’d make sense it would happen with him, too. But one night a few months ago, things got out of hand, and now I’m plagued by an insatiable need to have him writhe under me as he calls out my name in pure lust.

“This is some bullshit,” Iggy said.

“If Cain and Lars do stupid shit, then it’s basically a green light for you. Those two are the levelheaded members of the band.” Kaye stepped closer to Iggy and jabbed a finger to his chest. “My ass is still buying you, a grown-ass man, his condoms. I’m not taking any chances and I sure as hell don’t want to spend my days cleaning up stories hitting the tabloids.”

Iggy laughed. “Kaye, you’re usually there when we bang groupies.” He glanced up and tapped his chin. “If I remember correctly, a few weeks ago you were getting eaten out by some chick while I had my dick tearing up her cunt.”

Kaye had two sides to her personality. Party girl Kaye that liked to have fun and pantsuit Kaye that gave off the appearanceof being a boss. Out of everyone I knew, Kaye was the last person I wanted to step up to. The woman controlled four famous, fucked-up men without a sweat.

Kaye smirked and stepped closer to Iggy. “Partying and sex aren’t the problem. As long as it’s clean and quiet, everyone can have a grand old time. But the four of you are getting out of hand.”

“We haven’t even done anything,” Iggy said.

“And if I have anything to say about it, you won’t be,” Kaye replied.

I glanced at Kaye. “It’s innocent until proven guilty. You can’t put our asses in jail before we even commit a crime.”

Kaye laughed. “That you’re saying this makes me believe you’ll commit the crime.” Kaye waved her hands in the air. “You’re in a five-star hotel. This place is fifteen hundred a night. It’s not like I’ve put you into a five-by-five cell with a toilet in the corner.”

“You’ve cut off our pussy supply.” Iggy grabbed his dick with one hand while pointing to the chef’s knife in the butcher block. “Might as well grab that blade and neuter me, Kaye.”

I burst out laughing. That probably seemed like the end of the world for Iggy. I enjoyed fucking as much as he did, but I could’ve also gone without sex.

Kaye rolled her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic.”

“You know, when was the last time I busted a nut in my hand?” Iggy asked.

“Probably this morning when I found that girl basically passed out with your dick still lodged up in her throat. What did she take, ’cause that was a little wild? Who falls asleep with an eight-inch cock down their throat?”

Iggy stepped up to Kaye, rubbing up against her, and winked. “You’ve noticed. I'm flattered. You know, Kaye, I might change your mind about being a lesbian if you gave me a ride.”

She lifted her fist and pulled her arm back. “If you don’t want a broken fuckin’ nose, you better step back.”

Iggy put his hands up in the air and laughed. “I’m sayin’ if you wanna choke on a sausage instead of licking up clam, I’m your man.”

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