Page 58 of Suspicious

She felt like home.

She smelled like heaven.

I never wanted to let her go.

But she had a whole new life ahead of her. And I didn’t want to be the depressed asshole holding her back.

Her tears fell down onto my chest, so I slid my hands to her wet cheeks and lifted her face to meet mine. Weakly smiling, I leaned in, pressing my lips to hers. The kiss wasn’t passionate or forceful. It was gentle and loving.

It wasgoodbye.

And when I pulled back, both of us with tears in our eyes, she slowly nodded. “I’ll call you when I get to my dorm in San Jose.”

Another little piece of my heart fractured and fell to the floor, and I knew, I just knew, that if I heard her voice on the end of a phone line, it would break me even more.

I couldn’t do it.

Once she left, I had to let her go.

To try and get my head into any kind of functioning order.

Because right then, I was a fucking mess, and I needed real, professional help.

“Email me. It’ll be better that way,” I simply replied.

She grimaced like my words visibly stung her, but the understanding was clear in her eyes.

She knew this was the end of us.

Bea continued to hold me, taking in a deep breath. “I love you, Alex.”

Resting my forehead against hers, I closed my eyes. “I won’t ever stop loving you, Beatrice. It’s an absolute impossibility.”

Opening my eyes as she slowly lifted her lips to meet mine, we kissed slowly once more. The adrenaline of the moment made my entire body feel like I was running a marathon on the spot.

She drew back, looked into my eyes, and weakly smiled. “I guess we did okay. Theo never found out.” She grinned, letting out a small chuckle as she stepped back from me.

I nodded. “Still have best friend status. He’s not gonna kill me yet.”

She waggled her brows, heading for the door. “There’s still time before he leaves. You never know what might happen,” she teased, making it out into the hall.

I stood by my door, gripping the handle hard enough my knuckles turned white with the anxiety of my Bea leaving. The seriousness of the moment was truly hitting me now. “When you get to San Jose, don’t look back. You take life by the balls, and you go for it, Bea. Promise me!”

Her bottom lip quivered. “As long as you promise not to waste away in here. You’re so talented, Alex. You could do anything you want with your life.”

My head fogged over at the thought of doing anythingright now. It was too hard to even deal with. Losing Jason, losing Theo, and now losing Bea all within a month, I needed help processing that.

But I wasn’t going to lump that on Bea.

She needed to go live her life and be happy.

“You should go. Theo is probably wondering why you came into the house,” I stated because I was having a hard time keeping my shit together.

Bea’s eyes watered, and she slowly nodded. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Email,” I specified with a nod.

She frowned, slowly backing farther down the hall. “Goodbye, Alex Grimes.”