Page 7 of Suspicious

And to top it all off, I left him to figure it all out on his own.

I have never, and willnever,forgive myself for that.

It’s why I haven’t been able to talk to him on the phone or come back home and see him face-to- face.

Because…

…I am ashamed.

Alex needed me, but he pushed me away, and it hurt, so I left.

I should have seen it was a cry for help.

Hindsight is a wonderful and horrible thing.

Turning back to my bacon, my stomach feels even more queasy. Sliding the plate away from me, I reach for the coffee instead.

Sometimes, guilt can be worse than the mother of all hangovers, and this guilt trip I’m feeling right now is hitting me with the force of a damn jackhammer.

Why are you even still here, Bea?

CHAPTER THREE

Loki

My mind is like a fucking war zone right now. Memories combat each other to outdo themselves. The good, the very fucking good, and then the extremely bad bulldoze their way in and overtake, detonating the rest to smithereens like a damn apocalypse.

It’s not bad enough receiving a phone call from Bea—hearing her uncontrolled and intoxicated like that and fearing for her safety—but having to drive and pick her up, seeing her for the first time in so long like that,in that state, and then for her to not even remember?

It’s like a punch to the gut all over again.

She was my sweet, innocent Bea.

I never ever thought of her as being the type to annihilate herself like that.

Seeing it in real-time, being there to pick her up off the floor and hold her hair back as she puked and then passed out in my arms, I swear I haveneverfelt so fucking out of my depth in my life.

All I wanted to do was protect her.

To hold her all night long and take her pain away.

Butshewalked out onme.

She didn’t protect me whenIneededher.

I had to ensure she was back at the clubhouse and safe, but that was all I was capable of. As much as I wanted to stay in my room and watch over her, make sure she slept through the night and woke up knowing she was protected—I just didn’t have it in me.

Not after everything.

The best I could do was write out the note for her to find,leave her some painkillers and water, and then spend the night in my tech den, waiting for her to make her appearance in the morning.

Needless to say, I haven’t slept a fucking wink.

Seeing Bea, even though she was a complete mess, has stirred something in me. Then, just now, having an actual conversation with her, even if she is a little pale from being hungover, she’s still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

Only now, she’s a woman.

She’s filled out, even with her short frame. Her hips are wider than they were, giving her a curvy figure, which is so fucking sexy on her. Not to mention her breasts, which have definitely gotten bigger. I’m not too ashamed to admit I looked. The way her hair is cut short to her shoulders but still with that wave she always had. It suits her. Let alone the way it makes the flecks of gold sparkle in her luminous green eyes.She is simply breathtaking.

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