Page 46 of Suspicious

Shifting my eyes to glance at his back while he works, seeing he’s still listening to the hacked playlist I put on his computer for him, a slow smile creeps on my face. I thought he would turn it off instantly, hearing all my girly music, but he’s kept it playing.

I shouldn’t be surprised, though. Alex always put up with me doing things like that to him. Like the time he took me to the drive-in to seeValentine’s Daybecause I wouldn’t shut up about seeing it. He always put me first.Always.Even now, with him listening to the stupid playlist I made, knowing he hates the music, he’s listening to it just becauseImade it for him.

I’ve been in love with Alex my entire life.

I don’t know how tonotlove him.

It’s hard to be here and not be able to hold him.

But that’s on me.

I know that now.

I should have never left.

I just didn’t know what else to do at the time.

But thinking through those moments is only going to make my time here with him harder. So, I turn my eyes away from him and back to my cell, playing my mindless game. Loki wiped all the malware from my cell, so I am okay with using it freely now.

Thank God.

Music blares through my headphones, and I bop away to the sounds of “Grenade” by Bruno Mars. Then the next song flicks over, and the second it starts, my eyes flick up to Alex, and they begin to water, the memory slamming into me like a raging bull.

The night of your prom was supposed to be the highlight of your senior year. Not for me, though. It’s so damn hard when you’ve been in a relationship with someone for what seems like a lifetime, but you have to keep hiding it. Going to prom, you’re supposed to spend the night dancing with the guy you’re dating. The guy you love.

Instead, as I walked down the front porch steps with my date, who I didn’t even really know all that well, I glanced next door to watch Alex placing a corsage on his date. His face seemed just as unhappy as I was.

He peered across to look at me, a smile reaching his lips.

You look beautiful,he mouthed.

It lifted my spirits, but only marginally.

Theo came racing out the door behind me. He was late to pick up his date who was a girl from my year and leaned in, kissing my cheek as he rushed past. “Have a good night, Bea… and, Jake, if you touch her tonight in any way other than dancing. Iwillkill you.” Theo chuckled as he bounced down the stairs.

Jake’s eyes widened in shock, immediately letting go of my hand. “Is he joking?”

I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t think he is, Jake. I haven’t been allowed to have any guy come near me,ever. You’re lucky even to get to take me to prom tonight,” I mocked.

Jake took a cautious step back from me while Theo chuckled, hopping into his car. “Good man, Jake. Take care of her tonight. I’ll be watching you!” He pointed to his eyes, then back at Jake, closed his door, then sped off to pick up his date.

Jake stared at me like he was terrified, and I simply gestured for us to leave. “C’mon, let’s get this over with.” I took off down the stairs, and Jake followed in a huff for the car.

I chanced a look over at Alex, and he gave me a slight wave before I slid into the passenger side. Somehow, it gave me the strength to get through the next few hours.

Trying to be sociable with Jake was hard.

Everyone at prom was having so much fun. Even Theo was dancing and having a great time. I could see Jake was getting annoyed with my bad mood, so I figured maybe I needed to suck it up. It was just one night, and I was being mean to a genuinely nice guy.

“Hey, Jake… you maybe wanna dance for a bit?” I asked him.

His eyes lit up, the brightest smile crossed his face, and he stood, holding out his hand like a gentleman. “It would be an honor, Bea.”

Finally smiling, I took his hand, and we hit the floor. I tried to forget for the rest of the night. Forget that I should have been here with Alex. Tried to forget that he was here with some other girl who was far prettier than I was. I let loose and had fun with Jake and let the drama of Alex, Theo, and me wash away for a few hours.

After dancing for several songs, a slow one came over the speakers. Tensing a little, Jake stepped in, his hands sliding around my waist, holding me closer. My muscles strained, and instinctively, I started searching for Alex. Not because I was uncomfortable, but because I didn’t want Alex to think that I was, and for him to cause a scene.

Or maybe secretly, I did want him to.

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