Page 2 of Suspicious

My breathing races fast as I take a couple of steps backward, my ass falling onto the mattress, just needing a second to let this truly sink in.

Glancing down at the crinkled paper in my hand, I read the last part without trying to let the tears fall.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

That’s up to you, Bea. I’ll be out in the clubroom if you want to come and say hi. If you want to talk to me, tell me what getting yourself wasted last night was all about. But if you want to sneak out and pretend like this never happened, I will understand. If you take the hall, there’s a door that leads to the back of the clubhouse. You can simply slip out there and call an Uber.

Trust me.

I get it.

My bottom lip trembles as I read his words. I have to admit,the offer of slipping out is really fucking tempting. But it has been years since I’ve seen Alex—fuck, Loki.

I need to remember to call him that.

We still talk, but only via email. I haven’t spoken to him or heard his voice in such a long time.

How I can be so close,so fucking close,and just slip out.

It’s not right.

ONE MORE THING…

I don’t have any right to tell you what to do. I don’t think anyone could ever tell you what to do. But please, Bea, don’t EVER put yourself in that kind of position again. If you didn’t call me, anything could have happened to you. Think about the damage it does to a family when someone leaves suddenly.

His last sentence hits harder than I was expecting. My stomach clenches, my heart pounds, and I burst into a river of tears. I scrunch up the note, throwing it into the trash, not wanting to be near the damn thing.

It hurts too damn much.

My eyes shift up to the pictures—Alex, Theo, and Jason. My heart squeezes seeing all of them, and I have to admit, it stings a little that I’m not up there on his wall. I was very much a part of that awesome foursome, but I guess considering everything that happened between Alex and me, it makes sense that I’d be absent from his memories.

Letting out a long puff of air, I grab the glass of water, take a long gulp, and then wipe my face free of my tears. I feel like death, but I only have myself to blame. I let everything get on top of me last night, and now I need to shake it off and figure this out.

Because I’m Bea.

Everyone expects me to be alittle ray of sunshine.

So that isexactlywhat I’m going to do.

Rolling my shoulders, I stand with a newfound pep in my step.

“You can do this, Bea. So you haven’t seen Alex in years. It’s going to be fine! How much can he have possibly changed? You’re a strong, successful, independent woman. Pull your shit together and get out there. It’s only a biker club,” I pep talk myself.

I glance around Loki’s bedroom, eventually find my clothing, and pull it on. Then, moving to the bathroom, I find a toothbrush. It’s probably Loki’s, but let’s be honest, it’s not like we haven’t shared saliva before. I shrug, load it up with toothpaste, and brush my teeth to get rid of the foul taste lingering in my mouth. After I wash my face and brush my mangled hair to try and look semi-presentable, I head for the bedroom door.

I reach for the handle while letting out a heavy exhale. “You got this, Bea!”

Then I open the door and head down the stairs and the hall, making my way out into the main clubroom. All my apprehension is soon diminished as I step out into the expanse to see what the space looks like. It’s huge andnothinglike I expected.

There’s a big area with a television on the wall, surrounded by couches and a pool table. Across from that seems to be the seating area where everyone is currently congregated for breakfast. To my right, there are bigger rooms for the kitchen and laundry, and another room seems to be locked off by some kind of security door. Off from the kitchen is a long bar, where women are working, and others are bringing out food from the kitchen to the people sitting at the tables and chairs while they laugh and joke with each other. From what I can tell, the vibe here seems quite friendly.

But the thing that really surprises me is that in the great expanse. There are stairs that head up to a room, but underneath that room, it’s all open, and beneath is machinery—some look like farming equipment, which seems odd for Los Angeles.

I stand stock-still, taking it all in, completely in awe. I have no idea where to find Loki or who any of these people are. The fact none of them are even looking at me—I am a complete stranger in their clubhouse—is making me feel all kinds of weird right now.

Taking in a deep breath, I step out a little farther into the room when a deep, gravelly voice calls my name, sending an immediate shiver down my spine. “Beatrice.”

Oh shit! He only uses my full name when he’s pissed off.

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