Page 53 of Taking a King

“It’s okay,” I say, smiling. “We had fun. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not going to miss you. I am. But this thing between us was never going to work out. You’re leaving soon and I’m not. My life is here. My family. My future. And the fact that we haven’t even once talked about what happens next is a pretty clear sign that neither of us thought this had a future. So, let’s just end it now. While things are still good, and we can still be friends.”

I’d thrown in that ‘friends’ comment knowing it would hurt him. But I hadn’t counted on how much it would hurt me to say the words. I don’t want to be friends with Garrett. I’ve never wanted to be his friend. Imagining just being his friend when I know how amazing we could be as something more makes me feel like I’m suffocating. I watch his face shift from confusion to something like anger.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks, his voice hard.

I shrug. “It’s for the best, Garrett. You’re a Marine. It’s one of the things I admire about you. You have so much honor inside you. You’re a good man. And you have a great career ahead of you. I won’t be the one who holds you back. I’m sorry, but I really do think this is the best way.” I force a smile.

Garrett looks at me for a long moment. “You’re serious, aren’t you? This is what you want?”

I nod, knowing I’m lying to him with that single movement of my head. But I can’t make the words come out. I can’t bring myself to tell him that this is what I want when it’s killing me. Of course, I don’t want this. I don’t want him to leave. I don’t want to go back to being friends. I don’t want any of this. I want to throw my arms around him and beg him to stay. But I hadn’t been lying when I said I thought this was what was best. I just hadn’t said who it was best for.

I pick up my purse and slide my feet into my shoes. “I’m going to leave for a bit. So you can pack your things.”

“Wait.” He holds out a hand to stop me. For a moment, I think maybe he’s going to beg me to reconsider. Maybe he’s going to try and convince me to come with him. Maybe he’s going to say something that will change my mind. The thought of turning him down again is killing me.

“So, this is it?”

I swallow back the tears that threaten and nod. “It has to be.”

I turn and walk away from him. I manage to make it back to my car before the tears start.

Chapter Twenty-nine

Garrett

It takes less than 5 minutes for me to make up my mind to go after her. The truth is, I’d made up my mind last night, lying there in the dark while Claire slept beside me. I’m not sure what caused Claire to say the things she’d said, but I know I can’t leave Oak Hill without telling her how I feel. There’s no way I can leave her. I need to tell her that I’m not reenlisting. I’m finished with the military. I may not have a plan for what comes next, but I don’t care. I have time to figure it out. And it doesn’t matter as long as Claire is with me. That is, if I can convince her that I don’t want the military to be my future. I only want her.

I grab my keys and rush out the door. I don’t know where Claire is going, but if I had to guess, I’d say she’s going to see Quinn at the Jester. I know the two of them are close. I don’t blame her for going to her friend and telling her what an idiot I’ve been. It’s true. I’ve been stupid and stubborn, and I should have talked to her sooner. I should have been upfront with her from the start. I should have told her I love her as soon as it hit me. I don’t know why I was so afraid to say the words. Right now, it’s all I want to do.

I climb into my rental car and speed onto the highway toward the Jester. It’s dark already and there’s a fog coming in from the river. I drive as fast as the low visibility will allow, in a hurry to get to Claire and tell her how sorry I am. I need to beg her to give this another chance. I need to tell her I’m leaving the military. I need to tell her I love her. I pick up speed once I’m out of town, but the fog is thicker here and the headlights on this low-end rental car aren’t doing much to penetrate the gloom. I squint against the fog as if that will help me see better. I should be getting close to the turn-off for the Jester, and I search for the wooden sign in the dark.

I’m so busy scanning the roadside for the white, wooden sign that I nearly miss the black skid marks on the asphalt that veer off the road. I slow to a crawl and my eyes follow the direction of the skid marks. When I see the flash of red metal crumpled against the pine tree, my heart nearly stops. I slam on the brakes and press the button for the emergency flashers on the car.

No. No, no no!

I chant it over and over in my head as I climb out of the car and run toward the twisted hunk of metal. The closer I get, the more the reality sinks in. It’s so obviously Claire’s car. A sick feeling of dread twists my gut when I see the mangled driver’s door. It’s nearly enough to cripple me. Somehow, I force myself forward and peer through the windshield. I can see the white airbag, Claire’s red hair, her pale face, eyes closed. There’s a line of blood trickling down from her hairline onto her forehead. Surrounding all of it is the sparkle of broken glass from the driver’s side window.

“Claire?” I shout her name as I make my way over to her side of the car. “Claire, baby. Can you hear me?”

I pry open the door and reach for her. I find a pulse at her throat, and I can see that she’s breathing. I’m scared to move her. My mind flashes with images of another vehicle, another crash. Fire. Explosions. Screaming. My breaths come faster until I’m nearly panting. There’s a tremor in my hands and I’m sweating despite the chill in the air.

I shake my head to clear it, trying focus on the present. There is no fire. No explosion. No screaming. That’s all in my head. It’s not real. It’s the past.

Breathe.

In and out.

In and out.

Focus.

I can’t help Claire if I fall apart. There’s no fire. There’s no explosion. I repeat the words over and over inside my mind. I take several more deep breaths and slowly come back to the present. I pat my pockets, relief washing over me when I find my cell phone. I dial 911 and tell the dispatcher what happened. She’s calm in the face of my shock and fear. She talks to me until I hear the first sirens in the distance and the wash of blue lights from a police cruiser. The vehicle skids to a stop and I see someone climb out. I don’t move from my spot by Claire’s side.

“Garrett!”

I’m not sure why it’s such a shock to hear Ronan’s voice. He’s a cop, after all. It’s a small town. Of course, he’d be responding to a car accident if he’s on duty.

“Over here!” I shout, waving my arm in the air.

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