Too bad he’d been factored into so many already, even without me intentionally doing it.
She told me to take my time and think about it before making a decision, but I had been back for three days now and the more I thought about it the more excited I got. Any lawyer in my shoes would jump at the opportunity. I wasn’t going to be a fool and turn her down. It was very obvious even to me that my decision had been made already.
I pulled my phone out of my purse and dialed her number as I plopped on the couch. “Jenna,” she answered.
I smiled. “Flora, hi.”
“Have you given my offer any thought?”
“Yes, in fact, I have,” I said already beaming. It was going to be hard for me to leave Miami behind. This city held a lot of memories for me. I was born and raised here and hadn’t been many places. Miami was my home. But I was elated for this new adventure.
“And?” she prompted.
“I’d love to be your in-house counsel.”
“You’re taking the job?” I could almost hear her smiling. “Fantastic! Did you tell your father?”
“No, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to do that myself, so please don’t say anything yet. And I’m sure I’ll need to give proper notice to him and my clients, so,” I said, letting my words fall off.
“Think nothing of it. You’re coming. That’s all that matters.” I heard the popping of a cork followed by the sound of a glass. “Well, I’m officially celebrating, if you can’t tell,” she said, gushing.
I laughed. “I am really happy about this and so thankful to you. Thank you again, Flora,” I said.
I heard her swallow. “Please. You’re doing me a favor, Jenna. You are one of the best damn attorneys we have worked with and your passion for my brand is something else entirely.”
“Thank you.” I crossed my legs. “I’m really glad you trust me. I promise I won’t let you down.”
She replied, “I know you won’t.” Then I heard footsteps and laughter. “All right, well, I have to go, but you should have a drink to celebrate, too. This really will be amazing!”
When we hung up, I stared at the phone for a moment before jumping off the couch and squealing. “Ah!” I screamed, barely believing I had just done that.
I opened a cabinet and pulled out a glass. Flora was right, this called for a little celebration. I went to the fridge, but my eyes came across the few beers I had stored in there for Deacon.
What had I done, I suddenly wondered. And my dad, how would he take it? I shook my head. “No, I can’t go there.” I pulled my hair up in a high ponytail and placed an elastic band I had on my wrist in my hair to hold it.
I knew I had to call my dad and update him, but that could wait. I didn’t want anyone raining on my parade right now. I felt good and that was because for the first time in my life I wasn’t overthinking things. I was flying by the seat of my pants and it was exhilarating and frightening, but mostly exciting. I wished I had done this sooner—moved out of Miami. Then maybe I could have saved myself the heartbreak I felt once more with Deacon.
Deacon. I had been pushing thoughts of him aside for too long now. Even when I got his voicemail, I couldn’t bring myself to return it, just listen to it a few dozen times. “We need to talk,” he said. But I needed to protect myself, I couldn’t keep putting myself through this. Perhaps he wanted closure, but I didn’t.
“I’m moving on. This is going to be good for me,” I said to myself.
Forget drinking. What I needed was to start cleaning up, organizing, packing. That was the first real step anyway.
Wasn’t it? If so, why couldn’t I stop thinking about Deacon all of a sudden?
Who was I kidding, it hardly was sudden.
Every second I wasn’t with him was like torture. But, in time, I knew that feeling would pass. It had to.
If I listened to my heart, all it really wanted was him. Imagining a life without him was literally tearing me up inside. But the future for us had always been hazy at best. Which was why I needed to listen to the million reasons we couldn’t be together and move forward, never looking back at what could have been.
I started pulling things out from the bottom of my closet, one at a time, knowing there was no way I would be able to keep everything I had accumulated since moving in.
I tossed a few smaller items on my bed and paused. When my fingers touched the bed I let them linger there, closing my eyes. I placed a hand on my lips, remembering the kisses Deacon gave me the night we made love. They were swollen and raw by the end, but I had never been so satisfied, felt so desired and loved, then I did with him. He catered to my every whim, always had.
He moved my hands behind me and pinned them with his own against the headboard. His tall, lean, muscular body was hovering over me. I saw nothing but love and desire in his eyes as he pushed into me and I closed my eyes, taking him fully. “You tell me what you need,” he rasped.
I opened my eyes back to the present and blinked away the tears that were clouding my vision. I sucked in and patted at my cheeks. “That was a fantasy,” I reminded myself. “That was all that was.”