Page 30 of Forever My Soldier

I sucked in as he placed the cold, wet swab on my cheek and held me steady, one hand on my arm, the other taking care of my cheek. “The sting should go away.”

I looked at him and sighed. “I slept with her husband,” I confessed, my eyes on him the whole time, but I couldn’t read him.

His facial expression was unchanged, he didn’t so much as twitch, just removed the swab from my cheek and pulled back the paper from a butterfly bandage before placing it lightly on my cheek.

Unsure if I should be encouraged or scared by his lack of reaction, I added, “Actually, we dated for a while,” and waited.

He furrowed his brows, as he cleaned up. “And you didn’t know he was married?”

Barely believing he’d say that to me, I hopped off the bar stool and walked in the living room. He didn’t move from where he was to follow me, though, which was just as well because I was quickly getting annoyed.

I ran a hand through my hair and huffed. “Why do you always do that?” I shouted.

Coming closer, I could see he looked positively befuddled. “Think the best of me,” I clarified.

“Princess, you’re a bad ass, but you’re also one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known. You wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone intentionally tear apart a marriage.”

I stomped my foot on the floor, knowing he’d never fully get it. How could he? He only saw me as perfect, sweet little Jenna, the girl he knew all those years ago. But since we broke up I was floundering. Then when I finally thought I got my life together, he came back, knocking on my door, and then I lost our baby. I’d been a mess. Nothing was neat and tidy or even crystal clear in my life. It was quite likely that even if I had known Michael was married, I still would’ve been with him. I was no angel, and that was the point I was trying to make. That was part of the whole problem, that Deacon didn’t really know me, so how could he want to be with me?

“What are you thinking?” he finally asked, interrupting my thoughts.

Voicing my concerns, I answered him with a question of my own. “How could you be so sure about me?”

He pulled me close, hands on my arms and looked into my eyes, then down at my chest, where he brought a hand to rest. “Because I know what’s in here. You keep saying things have changed, we’ve changed, but I don’t believe it. Leopards can’t change their spots.”

“What if I did know and did continue to sleep with him?”

He shook his head, getting prepared to work hard to convince me otherwise. “Never would’ve happened.”

Softening, I put my head in my hands and shook my head. “You’re right, I could never be a home-wrecker.”

He smirked and chuckled, lifting my chin with his finger. “Told you.”

Then, without thinking, I blurted out the one thing I never should have, the one thing that was only going to encourage him in his quest to get me back, a quest I wasn’t so sure I wanted to keep resisting. Too bad I had to say it. “You have no idea how much I needed you all these years. You ground me, you make me feel better. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed who I am when I’m with you.”

He didn’t harp on it, though, just responded, “As nice as that is to hear, you don’t really need me, princess. Never did. You’re amazing all on your own.”

“You’re wrong. I do,” I insisted.

He looked down at me, his eyes intense. He brushed my arms with his fingers, resting his hands on top of mine before gliding them off, pulling me closer. Lips parted, he leaned down and even though I wanted what was coming next, I knew it was for the best when we were interrupted by my phone.

“I should get that,” I said, reluctantly turning away.

He shook his head. “I should be going anyway.”

I nodded. “Probably best.” Before I let him walk out, I said, “Thank you for dinner. It was exactly what I didn’t know I needed.”

“Good food?”

“Good company,” I corrected.

All I could think as he walked out was that for the first time in a long time, I finally felt like my heart was full again, and I knew that was because the man who had taken half of it with him all those years ago was finally back. Only, I couldn’t lose control around him. I needed to remember that this was about much more than my happiness. It was about protecting him.

Chapter Eleven

Jenna

There were quitepossibly a thousand places I would have rather been right in this moment than sitting on my parents’ patio with five other older women from the DAR.

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