Page 19 of Forever My Soldier

The feelings from that night, all our nights together came rushing back to me and I felt giddy with anticipation, so hopeful, even if for only a second, before reality came crashing back to me. I kept my arms around him, but threw my head back and let out a loud whelp. I could feel the rumbling of laughter beneath my hands on his chest and continued to smile like a child being tickled.

In this very moment, away from all of my problems and on the road with Deacon, I felt unstoppable. I knew from experience this feeling typically wore off, that it was merely temporary, however I was enjoying it while it lasted.

We turned up Ocean Drive and the smell of the ocean air hit me like a force. I knew without a doubt he was taking us to the beach, there was really no question. We drove past what I called hotel row, the Beacon Hotel, Colony Hotel, Boulevard Hotel, and more before finally finding parking. One of the best parts of living in Miami was that no matter the time of day, the beach was always an acceptable place to be, and the proof was in the lots.

There was a time, after I lost the baby, that I found solace in going to the beach early in the morning to watch the sunrise. The water was calm and the humidity low, but I enjoyed observing the water crashing onto the sand. Sometimes I even found myself closing my eyes as I sat on the warm sand and dug my toes into it, as I simply listened to the calming sounds of morning seagulls and the water touching the shoreline.

After we dismounted, Deacon took my helmet and I fussed with my blouse, having shed my jacket under the hot sun.

“This is nice,” I admitted, looking out. He probably didn’t intend on me catching him staring at me, but I did and he didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t. “Didn’t your parents ever teach you it’s not polite to stare?” I tried to act serious, but I couldn’t hold back a twitch of my lip as I bit back my amusement. It felt good to be the object of his attention, his affection again. But I was only fooling myself if I let myself believe things could be different.

Deacon stuck his hand in the pocket of his pants and looked down now, kicking a rock on the ground. “Can’t help it, not when you’re the sight to behold.”

I quickly rolled my eyes and brushed him off. “This is not what I got on the back of your motorcycle for.”

“What?” He acted innocent. “Can’t a man compliment a beautiful woman? Or is that a crime?”

“No crime.” I felt my cheeks get hot and glanced around, intentionally avoiding his eyes. “Why are we here anyway?”

He shrugged his shoulders and I could feel his gaze on me again, but I didn’t dare catch him this time. “Just thought it might be nice.”

I cleared my throat. We already established I thought it was nice, too, so I began walking toward the beach.

When I noticed he wasn’t next to me, I tossed my head over my shoulder. “You coming?”

The water was still, like glass, and beach umbrellas and blankets littered the beach. It was an excellent day for the beach and apparently everyone knew it. I stopped to take off my sneakers and Deke followed suit.

I let my toes sink into the hot sand, the sun almost directly over us by now. I sighed as we began walking and my feet pressed in further. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over this feeling. There’s nothing quite like it. I couldn’t imagine living in a state where I couldn’t go to the beach nearly anytime of the year and enjoy the sand just like this.”

“I certainly missed this,” he admitted, looking out at the water and tilting his chin to a boat sailing in the distance. “I always imagined I’d have a boat one day. Nothing too big, just big enough for my wife and kids to head out on the water with.”

I sucked in and then let out the breath real slow. “My parents had a boat for a millisecond there, got it at a boat auction. I was too young and don’t remember the name my father gave it. Just heard stories years later about it. My mother never liked it, though, said going out on the water distracted my father from what was really important.”

“What’s more important than being with the ones you love and making memories like that?”

I shook my head. I didn’t know why I brought my parents up. I didn’t want to talk about them, let alone think about them. “Let’s just change the subject, okay?”

He frowned. “Sure.”

Coming up to a group of teenagers playing beach volleyball, I steered us in the direction of turning around. “Do you mind? I’d really like to not get hit in the head by a ball.”

He chuckled. “You suck at beach volleyball.”

I feigned exasperation and swatted his arm. “Hey! You take that back.”

He pushed his hands deeper in his pocket and shook his head, smiling. “No can do. You really stink.”

“Okay, but that’s not fair because you’re judging it based on that one game and those other girls were really mean.” I added, “And good. They were like pros or something.”

“Yeah, Olympic athletes,” he teased.

I pushed the side of my body into his as we were walking and shoved him over a tad. “Whatever.”

“So a lawyer?” Deacon asked a beat later. “The debate master. Guess all those years arguing with people finally paid off.” He winked at me. “And at your dad’s law firm, no less, I can hardly believe it.”

I chuckled, ignoring the judgment I heard in his voice. He meant well, he just didn’t understand. Things had changed, even if he didn’t want to believe me. Time moved on and I had to with it. “I wanted to help people and I love researching, so when it came time to pick my major in college I went into political science with minors in business and psychology.”

“Quite the package.”

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