Page 14 of Forever My Soldier

He waited.

I put a hand on my hip and channeled my inner actress. “I don’t love you.”There, I said it.

“It’s not good to lie,” he admonished, coming to stand right next to me. “You should try again.”

I threw my hands up, frustrated. “What do you want me to say, Deke? That I’ve always loved you, probably always will. That no man will ever measure up to you. That the last time we were together I was nearly destroyed when you left again, even though I promised it’d be just the one night.” I laid it all out there, and yet none of it changed anything, so I wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted from me.

When he didn’t speak, I added, “I’ve changed, Deke. I may still feel something for you, but I’m not the same woman you once knew. Time moved on without us. I’m not ready to go back to that place and you just got back.”

“So you keep saying,” he inserted.

“It’s true. We can’t pretend nothing changed because everything has.” And he didn’t even know the half of it, I mused.

But it was the way he stood there, just looking at me, at my lips that made me lick them and announce, “I have to go.”

It’s not like I didn’t want him to kiss me, because I did. I just couldn’t handle that, though, not now.

I turned on my heel and walked away, approaching my car. This time he didn’t stop me, but he did shout, “That’s all I needed to hear, princess, because I’m going to fight for you. For us.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to. Instead, I opened my car door and got in, noticing for the first time that Deke turned and walked away, too.

In the solace of my car, I laid my head back against the seat and closed my eyes, processing our exchange. It was nothing like I thought it’d be. And that promise from Deacon that he’d be fighting for me wasn’t lost on me. Not by a long shot, but the truth was, he didn’t have to fight for me because he already had me. All of me.

He always had.

Chapter Six

Deacon

Seeing Jenna yesterdaywas exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

She had always been poised, proper, and polished, but yesterday I could tell she was barely holding it together. It made me feel damn good to think that I still had that kind of effect on her.

Although, there was no arguing with her when she said time had changed us both. I knew I had changed. It’s hard to go off and not come back a different man.

None of that shit mattered, though, not when it came to Jenna and I. There was never anything that could keep us apart, so this wasn’t going to be any different. And I could tell Jenna wanted to give things another go, too. She wanted me. Something was holding her back, though. I just wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew one thing for damn sure—I was going to break down her walls.

When I came back I promised myself I’d move on with my life, start the next chapter, and there was no reason to delay it. I knew what I wanted, now I just had to show that to Jenna, make her believe we stood a chance again.

Prepared for whatever that entailed, I walked downstairs, feeling like a kid again in my parents’ house. Rounding the stairs to the bottom landing, I nearly tripped and looked down to see the offending obstruction—suitcases. “Shit!” I cursed to no one but myself, not noticing them until it was too late.

I walked into the kitchen and surveyed the situation. Mom was at the sink and Dad was at the counter, looking over the newspaper. Neither seemed to notice me.

“Morning.”

Mom turned around first. “I thought we wouldn’t see you until later.”

“It’s a new day and I’m looking forward to starting it,” I admitted without elaborating.

“I’m glad to hear it because your father and I have news,” she began, switching from washing to drying the dishes.

I watched her closely, but turned to Dad when I noticed she did the same.

Dad finally looked up, took his reading glasses off, and asked, “If your mother and I leave now, are you going to be okay?”

“Of course, I’m a grown man. I’m doing fine, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said, getting right to the heart of it.

He nodded. “Very well.”

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