Page 5 of Wicked Witch

“You’re not five you nit. Get your ass up and outside. How are you guys wasted so quickly?”

He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a small flask that I happen to know quite well. Ah, fuck me with a bramble bush.

“You sneaky little fox. You shouldn’t have taken that. You’re in for a night my friend,” I grunt, lifting him from his chair and leading him to the door.

“Nooooo, I don’t wanna goooo,” Astor whines and I wince. “We still have to sing,” he complains then begins to belt out a not too bad rendition fromDreamgirls.

Wish I could record this. It’s gold blackmail material.

The bartender returns with my card and a scowl. “I took a seventy percent tip for the mess,” he grumbles and I nod, then sigh.

“Of course you did, glitters. Now if you could help me get my friends to my car that would be just rainbows and kittens.”

He gives me a look of confusion, then nods and grabs Sin by his ankle, dragging him out the door.

“Not quite what I had in mind, Laffy taffy, but it's efficient I’ll give you that.”

Once we are all snug as a cub in a rug in my car, I start the engine and begin the few hours drive to my Nan’s house.

She will have the right stuff to get these boys back in shape. I can’t believe they drank my goofeyjizz.

“She’s still so pretty,” Sin mumbles as I turn onto the backroads. “She looks like she’s evil incarnated… but still my heart skipped for her,” he sighs and then soon a loud snore rips from his lips.

Astor has been passed out for awhile now, so I take the risk that they are asleep and won’t see me open a teensy little portal to my nan’s realm.

She’s on the outskirts so I think we can get in and out undetected from my family and the guards.

The night sky changes to swirls of neon pinks and blues and yellows as I pull up in front of the small purple cottage with lollipops and horndrizzles covering the roof.

Parking, I open up my car door and breathe in the scent of timberflowers and smuckleberries. Ah it’s nice to be home.

ASTOR

The car stops moving and my head feels as if an elephant sat on it. “Wakey wake chick’s and bakey,” Rus says into my ear and I bat him away. “Here put these on and then follow me into a magical place.”

Peeking my eyes open I grab the weird sunglasses and accept them gratefully. The bright light goes away, and I sigh.

“Better bumblee?” Rus coos, and I nod.

He’s always been eccentric, but deep down he’s a good friend. He’s always there when you need a laugh too.

“Fabu, now maybe you can help me wake up Princess Snoresalot.”

I glance at my brother and laugh. He’s got his mouth wide open, and Rus is right he sounds like some type of grizzly bear.

“Sin,” I grunt, then slap him on the cheek a few times. Well slap isn’t quite accurate. Tap? Yeah, that sounds better.

“Touch me again and I will feed your balls to the octopus down the lane,” my twin mutters, and I snort.

“What the fuck you dreaming about bro?”

Rus gives him a shake, then dodges his fist just in time.

“I told you I don’t want to play today,” he whines, and I’m over this.

“Get up and get out of this car right this minute Arsen or so help me, I will post all your superhero obsessed days on your school bulletin board.”

“Fine. Fuck!” Cirrus hands him a pair of glasses like mine and he slips them on.

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