Page 37 of Sassy & Sixty

Catherine, who had been sitting in stunned silence, suddenly burst into laughter. "Oh my god," she gasped between giggles, "did you see Richard's face? I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head!"

"You know," Trisha mused, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, "I don't think Richard will be bothering you again anytime soon, Catherine. He looked positively terrified."

Catherine nodded, a newfound confidence in her posture. "You're right. And even if he does... well, I know I've got the best defence squad a woman could ask for."

Rosie looked around at her friends. "You're all completely mad," she said fondly.

As they settled in to dissect the events of the day, planning their next move (and vetoing Emma's suggestion of forming a permanent neighbourhood watch called "The Nunsense Patrol"), Emma pulled out a clipboard.

“On our now infamous spa night we vowed to avenge the behaviours of Richard and David. I think we can safely say that operation Dick’n’Dave has begun in earnest. We should all be very pleased with ourselves.”

“Yes,” said Lisa, cautiously.

“You should unsure,” said Emma. “Everything OK?”

“Yes, everything’s fine. I suppose I get concerned when we’re more focused on vengeance rather than building each other up and planning great things for the future…do you know what Imean? It feels very negative to be throwing all our efforts into the men.”

“I agree,” said Rosie. She turned to Catherine. “Dick face is out of your life now…what would you most like to do now he’s finally been kicked to the kerb?”

"I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights," she mused, a dreamy look in her eyes. "Richard always said it was too cold and impractical, but now... well, who's to stop me?"

"Certainly not us," Lisa chimed in. "In fact, why don't we all go? Can you imagine the seven of us loose in Iceland?"

The idea was met with enthusiastic agreement, and soon they were all throwing out suggestions for a grand adventure.

"We could go dog sledding!" Julie exclaimed.

"Or soak in those gorgeous hot springs," Trisha added.

"Ooh, and sample the local vodka," Emma said, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Let’s take a look at the options for going there,” said Rosie. “We’ll price it up and collate some options then we can work out who fancies it.”

“Good plan, Miss Organised,” said Emma. “Have you had time to think about what you’re going to do about Derek? Any thoughts about whether to take him back or not?”

As Rosie was about to speak, the sound of a car door slamming right outside the window made them all freeze. It was as if the car was on the driveway. Catherine's face paled. "You don't think..."

Rosie was on her feet in an instant, peering out through the curtains. In the glow of the streetlights, she could make out a familiar figure approaching the house.

"It's Richard," she hissed.

Catherine dropped her head into her hands. “I’ll never get rid of him,” she said. “He’s always going to be there, in thebackground, watching me and interfering in everything I do. I’m just going to have to accept it.”

“No you’re not,” said Rosie. “Absolutely not. I’m calling the police.”

“Don’t do that,” said Catherine.

“Why? He’s on my property. He’s trespassing.”

“OK, but let’s go and talk to him first.”

Rosie looked at Catherine. If she didn’t take firm action against this nutter, this sort of behaviour would go on forever.

"Wait!" Maria called out, emerging from the kitchen with a tray. "I have an idea."

As Richard's knock sounded at the door, Rosie took a deep breath and opened it, flanked by her friends with their hands on the hips and angry looks on their faces.

Richard's jaw dropped at the sight before him - a group of women in their sixties staring at him with looks of steely determination.

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