Page 50 of That Emerald Vow

“I like the sound of that. Come on, gem. Let’s make sure we both make it home okay then.”

“Okay!” she chirps.

I follow her for about an hour with no issue, but then I get a phone call from Alex.

“Hello?” I ask, annoyed.

“You would think when your superior calls, you’d pick up with a bit more respect.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m sorry, Alex, I’m driving right now. What’s going on? How can I help you?” I ask the last part with a fake sweet voice.

Alex scoffs at me. “Fine, if you’re gonna be that way, I just got a call from Nigel. Your mother is dead.”

“What?” I say, my heart sinking. “She’s . . . what?”

“Her cancer seemed to have gotten her.”

“I—” I stammer.

“That’s all I wanted to say. Looks like we won’t need to fight her appeal for compassionate release after all.”

“Uh . . . yeah.” There’s a whooshing in my head as I try to process all the fleeting thoughts and emotions, but I’m unable to grasp any. I’m unable to process anything.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” There’s an awkward pause before she adds, “I’ll talk to you later. Good night.”

“Yeah. Uh . . . good night.” This one phone call changes my whole life, and a plethora of emotions are fighting within me.

What is that noise?It’s my breathing; it’s coming out in wheezes as I try to process. I immediately call Charlie over the console, desperately needing to hear her voice.

“Hello?”

“Um . . . hey . . . I . . .” I try to form a sentence, but nothing makes sense. My hands are trembling on the steering wheel.

“Damon, what’s wrong?” she asks, her voice the only thing breaking through the fog in my mind.

“I . . . uh . . . I need to stop for a second . . . I . . .”

Without knowing what’s wrong, she goes into planning mode. Her voice firmly tells me, “Pull over onto the next exit. There’s a motel there. Follow me.”

“Okay.”

I follow her to a sleazy looking motel, but ironically, we’re probably scarier than anyone else staying here. My knuckles are blanched with how hard I’m gripping the steering wheel even though I’m parked. I don’t even notice how much time has passed since we got here, but Charlie is at my door, dangling a key.

“Come on. There was only one room left with a single bed, but it’ll give us some privacy for however long we need.” There’s a sex joke in there somewhere about one bed, but I can’t bring myself to make it.

I nod as she helps me out of my car and leads me to the room. I sit on the bed and run my hands through my hair. “She’s . . . she’s gone.”

Charlie sits next to me and wraps an arm around me. “Who? Who’s gone?”

“My mother. They found her dead in her cell. The cancer took her,” I say, a sob breaking out. Charlie pulls me to her and rubs my back as I allow myself to feel all the emotions.

“Why the fuck am I crying?” I quake into her chest as my tears continue to pour out. “I fucking hate her. She was a terrible mother!” When I first heard about the cancer, I felt relieved. But that relief is now interlaced with pain.

“She was your mother, Day. It may have been mostly bad, but there was some good. You having some warmth towards her is just as valid as all the hatred you feel. Both can be true at the same time.”

“But I don’t want it. I don’t want this feeling. It’s too fucking confusing.”

She continues to rub my back as I quake with sobs. “I know, baby, I know. Trust me, I know.”

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