Page 33 of That Emerald Vow

“Okay, gem.” I test out her nickname, hoping to elicit something more positive in her. “That sounds fair.” Her lip twitches in one corner, butthat’s all the emotion she allows.

“My m-mother was great until I was maybe around nine years old. At least that’s when shit started going downhill; it was a nightmare by the time I was ten. We were always poor—living in the trailer park and having just enough to survive. But we were happy for the most part. My sperm donor was a one-night stand she met at an out-of-state concert. She worked in a bar in the rough part of downtown and dated one loser after another until Dani was born.” I look to see Charlie intently listening.

“My mother was always around drugs and drug dealers because of her job and loser exes. Dani’s dad, Frank, being the worst. He got her hooked on drugs. It started off small, just one or two pills a day to take the edge off. But eventually, she couldn’t go a day without the hard stuff like coke, heroin, or anything she could get her hands on. The harder she fell into drugs . . . the worse our situation got. I started stealing lunch from school to keep us fed at night. Adrian’s mother would often allow Dani and me to come over for dinner. I was determined to survive until I turned eighteen and gained custody of Dani . . .” My heart is slamming within my chest the further I get into the story. Needing to move to let out some energy, I abruptly stand—startling Charlie.

“This—this next part is . . .” I look up at the ceiling and let out a heavy sigh.

Looking back at Charlie, she gives me a small smile and a gentle nod as if to say“It’s okay. Take your time.”

“I was getting in trouble a lot because of all the crimes I needed to commit to survive and get the fuck out of there. A local cop, Whitey, understood the shitty hand life dealt us and usually let me go with a warning because I never did anything too crazy.” Tears rim my eyes as I continue, “Frank was trying to get into the skin trade because drugs weren’t making him enough.” Charlie’s eyes go wide as she sits up straighter. “Dani . . .” I pause, unable to continue. I’m staring at the floor,trying to get the words out as tears start to spill over. I remind myself that Dani is safe, but talking about it is bringing back the fear I felt when this all happened.

I feel a delicate hand grab mine. Looking up, I see Charlie’s eyes are also glossed over. Without a word, she pulls me by my hand. Her warm embrace envelops me in a hug that I didn’t know I needed. I wrap my own arms around her and bury my head in her shoulder. I take a deep inhale of her scent—peaches. It makes me feel safe, so I squeeze her harder, and she does the same. I’m unsure how long we stand there, but she allows me the time to calm down before I continue.

I slowly release her, bringing us face to face. She is so strong and kind. Noticing a loose strand of her hair, I tuck it behind her ear, causing a shudder to roll through her. Our eyes lock, and I smile at her.

“Thank you.” She smiles back in return as we both go back to sit.

“Before I continue, Dani is safe and nothing happened. But I found pictures of Dani . . . When I asked her, she said her dad and our mom took her for a photoshoot. I realized what it was for . . . I never told her the truth . . .” I close my eyes and shudder at what my life used to be. “The truth of our family was bad enough: the drugs, the fights, the lack of any support. But this was around the time everything with Ade was going down. I called Whitey for help, but without proper evidence, there was nothing he could do.”

Charlie’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “But the pictures?”

“They were of her, but she was fully clothed. Looking like an adult, but nothing illegal. Everyone knew what they were doing between selling illegal drugs and the domestic violence, and then this . . .” I look up at her and see her face is concerned, but her body is radiating fury. “He never hurt us . . . At least not physically—I made sure of it.” I may not be as buff as Adrian, but I am just as tall. I’m all lean muscle and can kick some ass, and Frank knew it. He didn’t even hurt my mother in front of us,because as much as I hate her with every fiber of my being, I knew she was a victim of her environment, and no one deserves that. However, it doesn’t excuse the countless decisions that harmed us over the years.

I put my hand over Charlie’s to calm her down, but honestly, the contact makes me feel better—instantly bringing me some peace. We lock eyes as I continue. “As I was saying, we all knew. But the law doesn’t care. Whitey wanted to help so badly, but his hands were tied. Alex had already recruited Ade by this point, and he got her to help me too. Not to get too much into his business, but we were initially blackmailed into joining ‘cause they were impressed at how well he hid that it was murder and not a natural death. We very quickly found the evidence we needed because Alex knew the people who Frank was trying to work with. And she made it so Dani never had to know or testify. So Dani thinks our mom went to jail for the drug charges. Our childhood was terrible enough that the added pain of possibly being sold off wasn’t one I wanted her to bear.”

Charlie nods in understanding. “You’re an amazing big brother, D. I mean it.”

“Thanks,” I choke out. Hearing it from her means more than anything because I know she doesn’t give this kind of compliment away easily. Like me, she’s distrusting of most people.

“You took a difficult situation and made the best of it. You tried to create a safe environment for your sister to grow up in, and you both got out. I just wish they’d paid in more ways than prison. Selling your daughter . . . A mother shouldn’t be able to do that . . .” Charlie’s eyes gloss over, and a single tear falls that she quickly wipes away.

“Char . . .” I say. Not sure if I am ready to hear what happened to her to make her like this. Because I know in my heart that I would burn the world down for her.

And make sure everyone and anyone who harmed her pays the price.

Having Damon expand on his childhood trauma was a reminder of why you can’t judge a person without knowing all the facts. Will I continue to do so? Definitely, because I trust a very limited number of people, and my original perception of him was correct.

We’re kindred spirits trying to survive and make the world a little bit better.

“So that’s how you and Ade officially became part of X?” I ask, not ready to start on my confessions—unsure how much I want to divulge right now.

Damon furrows his eyebrows at me, wanting to dig deeper into my small emotional crack, but he nods his head. “Yeah, she saw a lot of potential in us, especially Ade. And we were able to create stipulations. It makes us sick, all they do. But we’ve been slowly building up the Crimson Creed to be able to take them down. Ade and I make plenty of money for ourselves from the shops. All the money from X goes into helping fund the Creed missions and paying for the individuals we save to start over. More and more people have wanted to help us with that over the years. But she still has her loyal dogs, so it’s been a slow, calculated game.”

Breaking them down from the inside. That’s smart. “Wow. I never thought I would say this, but it seems like at least you two are doing goodwithin X. Killing people who don’t deserve another second on earth and saving the innocent.”

“Maybe with all of us teaming up, we can end it once and for all,” he says.

This thought causes a maniacal smile to split across my face. “That may be a fun idea.”

He grins back and nods. Biting his lower lip, he hesitates before asking, “So what made you and Lily get into this line of . . . business? I guess I can imagine Lily’s reason, and that’s her business to tell or not. And I guess you too, you know, if you don’t want to share.” His eyes look at me warmly, curiosity bouncing behind them. But there’s something more. A consideration for my feelings. He isn’t pressuring me. I can tell he wants to know more—wants to know me better—but he also seems to understand this is difficult and is letting me choose.

That respect is what prompts me to finally open up. It’s what makes me think maybe he won’t hurt me like the first two people who shattered my trust. “It was people like Mr. Kingsley, Frank, the people X works with, people like your mother . . . my mother,” I whisper the last part.

No matter what I went through, what I hear from other’s experiences, I can never wrap my brain around a parent not unconditionally loving their child. A parent not protecting their child from the basic depravities of the world.

Damon’s hand is still over mine from earlier, and he’s rubbing his thumb in a gentle motion—grounding me. “When I was about ten . . . my uncle on my mom’s side started taking a special interest in me. We were always friendly; you know how uncles can be.” I look at him as he purses his lips.Stupid Charlie. No, he doesn’t.“He traveled a lot for work, so we only saw him on special occasions, but it was a normal amount of niceness when he visited.” I take a shaky deep breath before continuing. “Long story short . . . he started to—he started to . . .” My voice cracks. “He started to touch me when no one was around, which eventually turned into more.” Damon squeezes my hand, and I let the warmth of him comfort me while I say the next part . . . in some ways the worst part. “When I told my mother, she said I made the whole thing up and that I was just looking for attention.”

I look up at Damon, wanting to read his expression. He looks stone cold—a dark rage washing over him. I have never mistaken his power—he looks like a resident bad boy in the best way—but I’m used to his light and goofy vibe. And right now, it’s abundantly clear he’s capable of murder, and I know who just joined his list.

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