Page 18 of Beneath the Watching

Ever since my encounter with Stefan, things had been starting to get to me. Over the past week, I’d become even more restless, more aware of intricacies and the careful dances people engaged in over topics that could ignite firestorms with just one misplaced word. I didn’t like it; my protective shield was beingchipped little by little, a sliver at a time. Whatever was going on with Kiara had upended everything, it seemed.

“You’re probably right,” I responded inanely.

Madison barreled over the conversation, ignoring my reply. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Let’s post on social media—all of them, even Twitter. Snapchat? Nah, never mind that one. Do pictures of her and make sure you caption correctly. Someone will comment if they’ve seen her. I have to go to the police station later. Want to come?”

She didn’t give me a chance to say anything and continued. “We’ll make posters and put them around town. Just staple them to trees and stuff, I guess?”

“Madison,” I cut in, “I can’t today, I’m sorry.” Why would she staple trees? I shook my head.

“I’m going to get Levon to help me; James said he’d talk to him. Where’s Al? Put him on the phone.”

She was exhausting me; it was too early in the morning for all of this. She’d just suggested Levon had something to do with the disappearance and here she was, volunteering his help. It’d already been about a week since Kiara’s disappearance and I had to wonder what Madison had been doing in the meantime that made her wait until now to have this sense of emergency.

“Al’s busy but I’ll have him call you after.”

I wanted to ask her if maybe Kiara had thrown herself off the rocks since that would make the most sense and would not waste the police's valuable resources. They weren’t going to find her where she was, and no one would believe me if I told them.

I had inside information, thanks to my angry new friend, but I wasn’t going to offer the news that Kiara was perfectly fine and supposedly hanging out in a parallel universe. And I didn’t know for sure if it was an actual place though I suspected it was. It had to be; there was no other explanation.

It occurred to me that I could again ask Stefan about what had happened but with his animosity, it didn’t seem wise. I knew he knew a lot more than he’d admitted. He hadn’t outright told me Kiara was there, but Iknewdespite his word games.

Al was somewhere behind me, moving around and speaking to someone on his phone. After hanging up with Madison, I got up and showered, getting ready for the day, before I made him some breakfast. I included a slice of my green bean bread which he poked at with a fork as if it scared him, flipping it over, and then back again, suspicion covering his gaze before he cut into it.

“It's really not bad,” I told him. “Try it.”

He pressed his lips together and knocked the piece off his fork with a knife, wincing when a crumb fell into his scrambled eggs. “No, thanks.”

I shrugged and snatched the remainder from his plate, slathering butter across the top. All I could taste was cinnamon. It wasn’t even that green; it could’ve been any flavor. Maybe I’d make green apple bread next?

“What are you doing today?” I asked, instead of arguing over my baking.

Al stood up, scraping the remains of his breakfast into the trash can beside the sink. “I have to go into the office for a bit. The guys are still ironing out the details of the merger. It's a sure thing, just some lose ends. We’re meeting at the club tonight; I’ll send a car for you.”

“A bit”? What was he doing between then and the club that he wouldn’t come home? Maybe I should’ve gone with Madison. "Okay,” I said, rather than voicing my suspicions.

Al slid his arms into his suit jacket, his wiry hair snagging on the collar. Then he gathered his bag and phone, curling his lips into a faint smile he directed my way. “See you tonight,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. I watched him stroll out thedoor and heard the faint echo of his key fob chiming when he unlocked his car.

With my boyfriend gone, I turned on meditation music I’d found that came to the closest match of what I’d heard at Stefan’s and got my baking stuff out. Rummaging through the cabinets didn’t inspire the creativity that I normally found so I just played with different cans of vegetables, waiting for something to strike me as a great idea.

After I settled on peas and carrots and poured the batter the batter I’d made into bread pans, I began my usual routine of cleaning the house. Glancing at the oven when the timer went off, I surprised myself by realizing I was the epitome of a bored housewife minus a sexy pool boy or hot UPS driver.

The restless feeling settled in my stomach, a pressing ache that wouldn’t go away even when I tried to do what I hoped was yoga. Bending myself in different directions didn’t do anything other than make me feel old when my knee twinged. It was ridiculous; everything was fine until my friends and I went out that night and drank like fools in a deserted building.

Everything was fine until Stefan miraculously noticed me and captured me with his firefly eyes. I could’ve gone on pretending Al and Madison didn’t bother me if it wasn’t for any of that.

I couldn’t even dissociate properly anymore, never mind stretch or bake bread. Everything I tried not to think about was bearing down on me and it wouldn’t go away.

If I didn’t have to think about things, they didn’t exist. If I closed myself off, nothing could get to me. It was much safer than hoping for things that would never happen in this lifetime.

Just then, I saw the windows could use a good washing. Some of Al’s friends smoked cigars in the living room once in a while, resulting in the faint blemishes currently highlighted by beams of sunlight. Standing on the top step of the four-foot ladder I’dgrabbed to wipe away the smog wasn’t high enough for my five-foot-three-inch frame. Some of the windows would have to stay foggy. The panes of glass must’ve been at least fifteen feet tall. I lifted the ladder and moved on to the next set of windows and wiped away everything within reach that was wrong.

Run out of things to do, I settled on the couch with a slice of pea and carrot bread and a bag of dried banana chips and waited for Al to get home before I remembered he wasn't.

He wasn’t coming home, I had to go to him.

Once I was dropped off at the casino, I made my way inside while texting Madison. True to form, she met me halfway. “Cute dress,” she said quickly, complimenting me on my steel-gray strapless outfit.

She had her bright blonde hair piled atop her head, as usual, little golden coils curling and fluttering around her face as she chattered and gesticulated. She was tall, tan, lithe, and gorgeous, the focal point of any gathering with her perpetually sunny disposition and easy laugh combined with her super-model good looks.

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