Miles curses under his breath. I wrap a towel around myself and step into the bedroom at the same time as my mom. She runs to me, grabbing my face, arms, inspecting my body. Then she hugs me, crying, and thanking God I’m fine. My dad hugs me from behind, kissing my head, and whispering how glad they are I’m safe.
When Miles comes out of the washroom, they turn on him like angry lions, with my dad yelling, “This is your fault! Our daughter’s life is at risk because you’re a criminal.”
He holds me close, and my mother has a go at Miles. “You promised not to hurt her, and what happened? She was kidnapped, and by the looks of her bruised face, assaulted. Your world is nothing but violence.” My mother stomps into the closet, grabs a suitcase, tossing anything she gets her hands on. “She’s not staying here. We’re taking the next flight out and heading home.”
Miles follows behind my mom. “The hell you are. Jules is mine.”
My mother spins to face him. “Yours?” Now she’s screeching. “She’s not property, Miles. She’s a woman. Our daughter. And because she’s not safe with you, we’ll do whatever is necessary to take her far away from you.”
His eyes meet mine, except I’m numb. This whole situation is fucked up. My mind went on hiatus, and all I want to do is sleep. I close my eyes to avoid seeing the pain etched on his face. He must have understood my fragility, because he doesn’t fight my mother anymore. My dad’s arm is slung over my shoulder. They usher me out of the house, back to the guesthouse, where I throw on leggings and a sweatshirt and fall asleep on the couch with my head in my mom’s lap. Her sniffles are the last thing I hear.
32
Iwake to my parents discussing something in the other room. As I approach, they stop and ask how I’m doing. My mother prepares a tea for me, and my dad rubs my arm. This whole ordeal, everything, coming here and finding out about Miles, has aged them. I’m worried this might trigger another heart attack for my dad. All they want is to travel, and then my sickness threw them a curveball. They’re torn between staying and leaving. I don’t even have to ask them. If it wasn’t for Anja, we’d probably be on a plane by now. My parents are too wonderful to flee and sever a relationship they’re trying to establish with Anja.
My mother hands me my tea, and I ask, “What have you two been talking about?”
The corners of Mom’s mouth turn downward. Her eyebrows pinch together, crinkling the skin between them, and she sighs.
“We want to book a flight home, yet we can’t leave Anja. She wouldn’t understand, nor do we want to tell her about who Miles is exactly.”
I grip the mug, staring into the tea. “I need to talk to Miles.”
In unison, my parents say, “Absolutely not!”
My eyebrow cocks up as I regard them. “You two know I love you, right?” They nod. “For my entire life, the only people I’ve ever loved were you.” I pause and add, “Until now.” My parents’ mouths fall open. “I know what you’re thinking. I’ve lost my mind, and maybe in a way I have.”
Dad stops me. “Don’t talk like that. You haven’t lost your mind. There are thousands of people who suffer from mental illness.”
“True.” Pursing my lips, I take in a shaky inhale and let it out. “I love Miles.” My eyes meet theirs. “He’s done so much for me.”
Mom lets out a sarcastic laugh. “That he has.”
“I know this all sounds crazy. But the least I can do is talk to him. I’ve known Miles is a criminal, and I had accepted it. Yes, this abduction has rattled me, but I can’t pick up and leave without a word. And neither can either of you. There’s Anja and Elisabeth to think about.”
“Then we’ll find a hotel to stay in.”
“Please, please hear me out.” My mom falls back in her chair and folds her arms in frustration. “After my tea, I’m walking to Miles’ house for a talk. I understand where you both stand, which I’ll definitely keep in mind as Miles and I discuss this last incident.” I reach for my dad’s hand, and he takes mine. “Don’t do anything until I return, and then we can sort things out together, okay? If anything, this is probably the safest place for us instead of a hotel.”
My parents agree.
It’s late afternoon and the sun had set an hour ago. Bundled up, I trudge up the road toward Miles’ house. I didn’t call to let him know I was coming, so I’m not sure if he’s even home. My hand balls into a fist about to knock on the door when it opens before I get the chance. Miles’ hand rests against the door, shirtless and bare foot in only a pair of sports pants. His red-rimmed eyes tell me he’s upset over the abduction and the possibility of losing me, which makes it difficult to breathe. His hard demeanor rarely allows for a glimpse at his softer side, so to see him choked up squeezes my heart. I hate seeing him upset, especially since I’ve already accepted what he does for a living.
Miles doesn’t say anything, only widens the door for me to enter and walks toward the living room. A fire burns, soft music plays in the background, and a decanter and a glass rest on the table. He grabs another glass, plops down in front of the decanter to fill both glasses, nudging one of them in my direction. I’m not much of a drinker, but today seems as good as any to suck one down. We sip our drinks, staring into the fire, words escaping both of us. The grandfather clock’s pendulum ticks in time with the music.
My head turns toward Miles, watching him gaze into the fire. He’s had a hard life. His mother fled, and his father only cared about business. Miles didn’t get to carve out his own destiny. It was dictated to him until he couldn’t bear the guilt regarding the loss of his wife and unborn child. Unlike me, who had loving parents, Miles relied on his older brother, Johann. He’s really all the family Miles has, except for me.
And he’s alarmingly bewitching. My savior and my devil. He’s never spoken about what I did to my boss or my attempted suicide since I was in the hospital. Miles brought me health and happiness…also sadness, betrayal, and danger. The way he plays my body to our liking. Cuddles me when I’m depressed. Tells me he loves me. Again, the air thins, struggling to take in a huge breath.
Even though staying with him is a risk, I can’t imagine a life separate from him. He’s taught me to submit; to forget my troubles, which weakens my highs and lows. He pampers me. Anything I’ve asked for he’s given me. Do I really want to give it up? Give him up?
I’ve never met anyone quite like Miles, and I’m not talking about him being a rockstar or crime lord. He’s worldly, daring, and sexually uninhibited. The men I’ve dated in the past were vanilla ice cream, topped with a cherry. Nice and safe. Miles’ dominance pushes my limits. He doesn’t allow me to play it safe. The only safety he wants is for me to find in his arms. I love him.
I clear my throat and say, “My parents want to leave the premises. I’ve talked them out of it for now. They’ve recently met Anja, so leaving Germany isn’t an option.”
Only his head turns to me, and he asks, “And what do you want, Jules?”
“For everyone to be happy.”