Page 52 of Edging Obsession

“Except no one is forced into buying our drugs and weapons.”

His expression has me clenching my hands. “Johann, with all due respect, businesses in your area pay you money. Supposed taxes. Protection money. This, they did not ask for.”

“It doesn’t compare to the humiliation and degradation you force on innocent, defenseless people. Mostly women and children.”

I hold my hands up. “We’re not here to discuss who is more despicable.” My eyes land on Yusuf. “Whether or not you’re dealing in the same kind of business as us doesn’t matter, because you’re in our territory. If you don’t back out of here, we will bring blood to your door.”

Yusuf stands and takes on a submissive stance by folding his hands in front of him. “Nothing we do takes business away from you. We’ll continue to do what’s needed and take our chances.” His eyes darken and narrow on me. “But get one thing straight. Threatening my personal life, my family, will only cause you pain. If you drag my family into it, harm a hair on their heads, you’ll have to answer for it.” He ticks his head to one of his men, and they move toward the front doors. Yusuf turns to me. “Revenge.” He points his finger at me. “It’s powerful and gets you when you least expect it. No one you know will be safe.”

I advance on him, except Johann prevents me from hurting him. “Don’t threaten us, Yusuf. We have more men than you.”

He lets out a humorless laugh. “Maybe so. But at some point, you’ll let your guard down, and I’ll be there, catching your lamb.”

Him and his men leave as I curse at their backs, promising to punish every last one of them if they harm my family. Johann’s hands press against my chest, attempting to calm me down, but his words fuel my rage. Jules flashes in my head. Her tears. Her blood. And my heart tightens from fear of anyone hurting her. Of losing her. Hendrick comes over to assist Johann. By this point, my body is trembling with a mixture of fury and dread.

26

Miles and his brother left for a meeting, so my parents and I want to venture into our surroundings. It’s a sunny day, so we take advantage of it. There are paths in the forest bordering their land, leading to a small lake, then circling back. One of the men I’ve seen on the premises follows behind us. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s for our sake or theirs, as if we’re going to leak information to someone. The hefty guy shadowing us is carrying a gun, which has us a bit on edge. He lights a cigarette, clamping it between his fingers while the other hand rests on the gun.

My mom whispers, “Is this the kind of life you want, Jules? Having someone follow you? Violence everywhere?”

She glances at my dad who has his hands buried in his pockets, shaking his head and sighing. I don’t blame them for the way they feel. If someone told me I’d fall in love with a criminal, I would have scoffed at the comment, telling them it’s a mad thought. And in a sense, I am mad; a term my parents and Miles hate. Criminal or not, Miles nurtures my soul. Our relationship's the kind sad Country love songs are made of.

I slip my arm through one of my mom’s and dad’s arms. “Miles is like my prescribed drugs. He helps in the healing process but comes with side effects.” A giggle escapes me. My mom is about to say something, except I don’t give her the chance. “Believe me, I know where you both are coming from. What parent wants their child involved with someone as dangerous as Miles?”

My dad speaks up. “Exactly. He’s smug, secretive, and who knows what else he’s keeping from you. Like has he killed anyone, and if so, how many?” He stops, pulling Mom and I back to him. “I’m not kidding, Jules. His life is insane, and he’ll only put yours at risk.”

They stand there, staring at me, waiting for me to agree to cut Miles out of my life. The one thing I’m unable to do.

So, I turn my dilemma onto them. “How does one walk away from someone they’re in love with? Someone who they can’t picture a life without. A person who brings danger to their doorstep, while at the same time, provides security. Tell me, Dad.”

“It would be hard to leave him, but in the long run, you’ll see how much better off you’d be.”

“Would I? Would living in an apartment and working at a dead-end job I despise be better off? Dating men who never see past the surface, and when the real me is unveiled, they hightail it out of the relationship.”

“Jules, you can’t say you won’t find a job you love or a man who will stick by you.”

“I already found a man who sticks by me, Dad. What if the tables were turned? Could you walk away from Mom?”

He circles us, rubbing his chin, and says, “Your mother isn’t a criminal.”

We glance at the guy who has been following us. A hand resting on the butt of his gun and a cigarette balanced between his lips. It demonstrates our conversation doesn’t faze him. I realize this life is dark and dangerous. But I also know Miles will keep me safe. When he was throwing my clothes into my suitcase, it melted any doubts I had regarding leaving. With Miles, I can be myself and not worry when he’ll walk out the door. He’s seen the dark side of me, yet he’s stayed.

“But what if you found out something about Mom now? Something dangerous or bad? Could you leave her?”

My father’s abrupt stop has me slamming into him. “Jules. You’re comparing apples to oranges. I’ve spent most of my life with your mother, and you’ve only known Miles for a short time.”

“Time doesn’t equate to love. There was an instant connection as soon as we met. I’ve never felt that way about anyone, and I doubt many people experience the same.”

My mom cuts in. “Honey, we’re not saying you don’t love Miles. We get it, because even after all these years, I’m still in love with your father. Yet sometimes love isn’t enough to stay.”

“Mom.” My eyes shift to my dad. “Dad.” I have their attention. “Let me ask you this. Since I met Miles, do I seem happy? Trapped? Scared?”

My mom answers, “I know you’re happy. Again, I’m not denying it.” She bites her lip before continuing. “As you said, Miles comes with side effects.” She takes my hands in hers. “Are you positively sure, without a doubt that you want those side effects?”

I bring her hands to my mouth and kiss her knuckles on each hand. “Yeah, Mom, I’m sure. Our relationship might not be conventional, and we do things you can’t comprehend or appreciate, but it doesn’t mean it’s unhealthy or wrong. Yes, I could find a nice quiet accountant to marry or a lawyer. Keep things safe. The only problem with that is I could never love them like I love Miles. And they could never match up to his skills in bed.”

She giggles as my dad chides me. “We don’t need to know about it.”

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