Page 36 of Edging Obsession

Momtskshim. “Elliott, forget it. Let’s not assume or worry until there’s a reason.”

He sits back, letting out a breath, and says, “I’m just saying…this place is nothing like anything I could imagine. The land alone has got to cost a fortune.”

“Dad.” My face squishes into a plea. “Please.”

“Fine, I’ll drop it for now. But I’m not letting my guard down.”

Mom and I exchange smiles and shake our heads.

Miles returns and he shows us the moderate sized guesthouse, decorated in ocean colors: whites, teals, blues, and greens. It’s big enough for a family of six. From there, he walks us down the road to some buildings spread out over another gigantic stretch of land, with the forest separating the houses from this area. Miles and his brother own this portion, too. He points out an exercise building, a dining hall for employees, and the last building is for group sex.

Except for Miles, the rest of us stop in our tracks, and I repeat, “Group sex?”

Miles realizes we stopped following him, and backtracks when he says, “Yeah. It’s for our employees and guests. They take place a couple times a week. A group sex and swingers’ warehouse, including beds, couches, mats, blankets, and anything else you can think of.”

My parents gasp, and my mom asks, “Why? That’s so…”

“Natural, Elise. Europeans aren’t as taboo about nudity and sex as Americans. We’re open to many things, and there are plenty of people who enjoy group sex.”

“But that’s…”

“Obviously not your thing.”

He walks back up the road, and we all shuffle behind, whispering.

Mom says, “Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to stay here.” Dad agrees.

I stop them to prevent the conversation from getting out of control. “Wait! We’re in a different country. They have their own culture.” My arm extends back to the place. “It’s a building, and no one is forcing us to join.”

“He said it so casually.” My mom shivers. “Don’t you think that’s odd…to be in a room naked with a bunch of other people having all kinds of sex?” She covers her mouth for a moment then leans forward and asks, “Do you think Miles has participated?”

I flinch at her words. The thought of Miles being with other women, engaging in sex, clenches my heart. We both had a life before meeting, but it doesn’t mean I’m comfortable knowing about his sexual liaisons.

My head shakes to erase the pictures like an Etch A Sketch. “Mom, we’re not going there. Maybe having sex in a roomful of people isn’t for you, but it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

Bondage and all the deviant ways Miles has taken me come to the forefront. My parents already think I’m sick in the head, and if they found out about our D/s relationship, they’d probably put me in a psych ward and throw away the key.

Mom throws me off-guard when she asks, “Have you had sex in front of others?”

“Elise! Jesus!”

“What, Elliott?” She gestures to me. “She doesn’t seem too affected by a group sex room.”

“She’s young. And I don’t want to hear sex and Jules in the same sentence. Got it?”

I purse my lips together to stop from laughing. Mom huffs and begins to follow Miles’ disappearing form. We all jog to catch up and drop the subject. Miles informs us he’s meeting his brother, and suggests we return to the houses or take a walk. We’re somewhat jet-lagged, so my parents go to the guesthouse and I return to his.

Ever since my mother mentioned it, I can’t get Miles and other women out of my mind. Has Miles had group sex? Did women give him blowjobs, or did he fuck one while the other sat on his face? My stomach hurts, and I press my fist into it. Tears spring into my eyes. I love him so much. He’s mine. He said so, and I own him. No one else does, yet it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. I’ve relinquished my control to him by choice. Now, I’m worried how vulnerable I’ve left myself. In a snap, Miles can tire of me and leave. I’d be devastated and crippled by his loss. It would be more catastrophic than when I lost my job and people attacked me on social media. By the fireplace, I burrow under a blanket and cry.

18

Yeah, I knew the sex building would flip Elise and Elliott out. Too bad. This is my home, and they’ll have to deal with it. I walked up the road to hide the smile after I saw their facial expressions as they sucked in air to tame the shock. Just thinking about it, my grin spreads. They’ll loosen up while they’re here.

My steps slow as I’m heading to Johann’s house. It’s been five years since I’ve seen him, and I miss my big brother. He watched over me when my father couldn’t bother. My dad, a ruthless narcissist, exploited us as children, having us steal to see how well we did, and when we failed, he beat us and withheld food. I often wonder if our lives would be different if my mom hadn’t run off to the U.S. to become an actress. We haven’t seen her on the big screen, not that we’d recognize her, aside from the name. I’m guessing she failed. One thing’s for sure, she failed at motherhood.

Bruno, an old childhood friend, comes jogging over and tackles me. We pretend wrestle, and when we’re sitting on the ground, leaves stuck to us, we speak German.

He says, “Look at you, Mr. Rockstar. Took you long enough to come back. The parties aren’t the same without you.”

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