Page 52 of Chasing Storm

But it’s not your fault, Teagan?

He’s my husband. His pain is mine.

I find him in the kitchen, so I bring up the elephant in the room. “Joey, thank you again for bringing my lunch.” He’s chopping vegetables, which has me questioning whether I should have this conversation when he has something sharp in his hand. “Those guys you saw me talking to are in my class. Their names are Andrew and Todd.” Chopping has transformed into butchering. The poor red peppers are being minced. “Please talk to me.”

He grabs some broccoli, pulverizing it as he says, “About what?”

“Come on. You’re upset about Andrew and Todd. Jealous.”

Joey brushes the smashed florets off the cutting board, some falling onto the floor. “So?”

He’s slamming the knife down onto tomatoes, and my mind drifts, wondering what he is planning on making with these vegetables.

The knife sticks into the board, and I hurry to say, “Let’s discuss it.”

“Okay, let’s. I drive to my wife’s school to bring the lunch she forgot, only to find some guy’s arm hanging over her shoulder. Am I jealous?” He jams the knife at a carrot, lodging the tip into the board. “Fuck, yeah, I’m jealous.”

“We talked about your jealousy and—”

With his hands on his hips, facing me, he comes back with a rebuttal. “I didn’t swear at him or punch him in the face. Or stab him in the arm, so he’d release you. Or shoot him in the head. No, I didn’t do any of that. I’d say that’s fucking progress.” Laughing at his comment causes him to scowl. “I’m not kidding, Tea. The desire to grab a hold of his head, slam it into the sidewalk, and stomp on it was there. And also, to elbow the other guy in the face, just because they’re friends.” He tosses his arms in the air, and they fall to his sides. “Instead, I left before it turned into a jail sentence.”

I bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. It’s not funny, but it’s funny. This isn’t normal behavior. Although having Joey in my corner, knowing he’d do anything to protect me, is like being wrapped in a quilt in front of a fireplace on a blistery winter’s day. Except his jealousy isn’t about protecting me. It’s an internal battle for him, which I can’t wrap my head around. Since I can’t understand it, maybe I should learn more about his jealousy.

I stand right in front of him, bringing our bodies closer at his waist, and say, “What does the jealousy feel like?” He jeers. “I’m honestly asking, Joey, so I can try to make sense of what you go through when you get jealous.” His hands grip the end of the countertop, glancing over my head. I nudge his waist. “Hey, look at me.” Our eyes meet, and I give him a tiny smile. “Talk to me. Tell me.”

Joey bites his lower lip, takes a slow, deep breath, and responds, “The onset of jealousy comes without warning. My blood runs cold, freezing thought and emotion other than anger. A bitterness coats my mouth. Shortly after, the devil inside me drags its sharpened fingernail, hollowing out my insides until my blood heats, gushing through my arteries. A tidal wave turns to fire, scorching all logic I’ve tried to grasp. Then an overwhelming hunger rises to obliterate the cause that summoned my demon, and I’m left with irrational anger and self-hatred, which continues to boil and singe every nerve.” He pauses for a breath and continues, “That’s what jealousy feels like to me.”

My face changes as if crushed into a ball of paper. I rest my forehead on his chest. What he just said is something I can’t even fathom. But it’s real for him. It’s a bloody war against his demon, and Joey seems to lose most of the fights. I have so much admiration for him explaining it. He’s right how he handled things earlier with Andrew. It is fucking progress.

The sun kisses the horizon, casting a pink glow. My hands run underneath his sweater, pulling it over his head. I press a kiss to his chest, and Joey stiffens, unsure if it’s for pleasure or the lingering anger. Through my lashes, I look up at him, circling my tongue around one of his nipples and sucking it into my mouth while my fingertips skim his abs. Soft, tender touches, moving lower.

He inhales. “I don't want pity sex, Tea.”

I tend to the other nipple, not breaking contact. The tickling sensation when I dip my fingers into his waistband makes his stomach contract. Unbuckling his belt, and undoing his pants, I hook my thumbs inside and lower them, outlining the soft trail of hair to his erect cock as I get on my knees. And my man is commando. I smile against the base of his cock.

Joey's fingers thread through my hair, breaths and murmurs caressing his lips. He's a divine spectacle to watch unravel. To experience the effect I have on him, going from angry dominant to obedient lover. Problems are put aside for now, relishing in intimacy.

I nuzzle into the muskiness of Joey. The masculinity of his scent has me closing my eyes and inhaling. My tongue lays beneath his cock, licking, planting kisses, and nudging my face underneath his balls. Out of instinct, his pelvis thrusts into me, grunting an agreeable need. With everything he's told me, and his reaction last time to my finger, I do something I never thought I'd do. My thumbs spread his butt cheeks, and my tongue fondles his butthole.

Joey moans, “Holy, Mother.”

His fingers tighten in my hair, legs buckle slightly, as he says my name with a wicked intensity. A platoon of expletives whispered to conjure up whatever curse he wants carried out.

All my devotion goes into rimming him, taking his balls into my mouth, and licking his cock from base to tip. This reduces Joey to nothing more than a lost man in a desert, crawling to an imaginary oasis. He's hungry for what I'm offering.

Pre-cum balances on the slit at the top of his head and I wiggle my tongue into the groove. His legs almost give out, while I hold his muscular thighs.

Joey breaks the connection, using my hair to guide me into a standing position. He doesn't give me time to say anything before his mouth possesses and bruises my lips. Backing me up to the stairs, he turns me around, and after several steps has me on my hands and knees on separate stairs. Without warning, he's buried inside me, and releases manic thrusts. His fingers dig into my hips. My hands fumble over the stairs to find stability. One hand grasps the metal railing and the other splays against the stairs. Joey doesn't slow, fueled by desire and our quivering moans. My knees hurt from the hard friction on the wooden stairs. Joey's hand slides to my front, pinching my clit. While bucking into me, one of his fingers swipes at my folds. I can't hold back. The pleasure and pain infiltrate my body, and I'm screaming for mercy. From the orgasm hitting with such force, my face presses against the stairs as I whimper in satisfaction. My cheek mashes into the step while Joey runs a fuck marathon, finishing inside me.

He collapses on top; us panting and full of sweat. Joey’s pelvis tilts forward to prevent himself from slipping out.

The tender Joey I haven't seen since this morning kisses my cheek. His arms wrap around my front, lifting me into his chest.

We're on our knees, my head resting on his left pec, and I whisper, “I love you.” I watch his Adam's apple dip. My eyes move to his mouth that turns fantasies into reality, and then to his Fiji eyes. “Thank you for explaining what you go through with jealousy. It sounds horrible and I wish I could take it away.” He kisses my temple. “Since I can't, I want you to know something. To try to remember it when the poison hits your body.” Joey thins his lips and frowns. “I would never abandon you without just cause. My love for you is so strong it crosses universes. I love and accept everything about you. And even though my love can't stop your jealousy, I hope you'll at least remember it once the demon retreats.”

“I'm a disappointment.”

“No, Joey. You're my hero.” He slants his head in confusion. My silent warrior is clueless on how I view him. “Your possessiveness and jealousy are part of you. It's what saved your mother and me. I can't dislike what's been beneficial to me.” I shift, sitting on the step to face him, and take his hands in mine. “All I ask is that you learn to tame your demon, and today was proof you can. I'm proud of you.”

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