Page 82 of Quiet Chaos

Sky can’t even look at me. I never figured her a liar. My Pious Princess has always been up front. Now, when something as serious as cancer hits, she keeps it a secret, knowing my mother died from it.

With my hands on my hips, I stare her down, watching as she grows smaller. “I have never kept anything from you, Sky. I’ve been honest.” Yes, I hid what I did to Christoff, but that was for her own good. He deserved it, and she was afraid he’d come find her. I pick up the pamphlet. “Why do you have this information? And before you answer, it fucking better be nothing but the truth, Sky.”

She rests her hip against the couch and takes a deep breath. “I went to the doctor for a routine check-up to make sure everything was fine. It came back with abnormal cells, so he performed an in-office procedure.” Sky clears her throat and brushes away the tears. “The doctor found abnormalities and scraped a sample for a biopsy.” Her eyes meet mine. “The results will tell me if it’s cancer and how serious it is.”

I release a deep breath and sit on the back of the couch, rubbing along my goatee. The truth is tough.Shit!Sky is my life.My mother was my life. I drop my head and shake it to snuff out my emotions.

Sky doesn’t move. “Cade. I’m sorry for keeping it a secret, but I didn’t want to worry you.” Her right hand rubs along her left arm. “You’ve been working hard…I figured I’d wait until I got the results.”

Emotions irritate my throat and eyes, so I go into the washroom and turn on the water. I dunk my hands underneath the faucet, splash my face, and run wet fingers through my hair. My butt finds the top of the toilet lid while my head rests in my hands. It’s my job to take care of her, but this…this is something I can’t fix. I couldn’t help my mom. Charlie’s pain lasted the rest of his life until it killed him. His sickness was out of my control. And now, my Sky. My beautiful, sweet Sky, who has already had a lot thrown at her in a short lifetime. I’m a fucking failure. Everyone I love is going to leave me.

No! That’s unacceptable. The back of my head rests against the wall. Sky needs my strength. It’s my job to be there for her. I’ll do whatever it takes.

I wipe a towel across my face and find her still by the couch, staring out the window. There’s a vice grip on my heart. I haul her into my chest and kiss the top of her head. She shatters against me, wetting my shirt. Picking her up, I sit her on my lap, and let her cry.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

My hand strokes her hair and back. “I’m not, Sky. Just promise me you won’t keep anything else from me.”

She pushes away to look at me. “I promise.”

I take her face in my hands and kiss her. It’s a needy kiss to feel a part of her. To know she’s okay. We’re okay.

“Cade?” I raise my eyebrows. “Please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to say anything before we get the results.”

My embrace is possessive, as if I can’t get her close enough. “I won’t. It’s not my place to say anything.” My hand flattens her hair. “Do you still want to go to the club?”

“Yes. It will be fun.”

Again, I pull her in for a kiss, greedy for her nearness. When we both find our composure, we finish packing the truck and head out.

Everyone has already arrived. There are cheers to us, and prospects help bring in the food. Armstrong takes off where the other dogs are running around. Children are screaming by the playground, and Reed has his spatula in hand, flipping burgers and hot dogs. Before Sky can get away, I catch her arm and kiss her.

Talking against her mouth, I say, “I love you.”

She smiles. “I love you more.”

I release her arm, and she joins the other women.

Daredevil walks over and hands me a beer. I take a swig and glance around. My family. It brings on a faint grin. Everyone is enjoying the weather, food, and the flowing drinks. We play bean bags and joke around, but occasionally, I check on Sky. Learning about her cancer makes me edgy, not wanting her too far from me. The guys think it’s the newlywed phase, which is fine. It’s better that then them knowing I’ve become manic from fear. The idea of losing Sky tears at my heart. Every time my eyes find her, she’s smiling, laughing, or playing with the children. Armstrong comes by her, looking for attention, and like always, she gives it to him. Even with an impending scare, Sky doesn’t sway from her kindness.

Early evening approaches, and some children are asleep on blankets. My brothers are sitting in a group, telling stories about their sexual conquests or newest adventures. Light fingers tickle the back of my neck. I hold Sky’s wrist and guide her around and onto my lap, planting kisses along her temple, cheek, and lips.

She rests her head on my shoulder as I take a sip of beer. I tangle my fingers in her hair and massage her scalp.

I ask, “You okay?”

She yawns. “I’m a little tired.”

My body tenses. “Should we go home?”

Sky sits up and pats my chest. “No. I want to stay for the fireworks.” She browses the area. “I’ll get a chair.”

I stop her from getting up. “No. I want to feel you.”

She melts into my embrace, and not long after, she releases small even breaths against my neck. I let her sleep until the fireworks. Josie comes by and covers Sky with a blanket. I mouth athank youas she makes her way over to one of the new prospects, who I can’t remember the name.

With my legs stretched out, Sky curled in my lap, clutching the blanket. I watch her watch the fireworks. She turns me into mush. It’s so fucking cute how she appreciates the little things. When she sees me looking at her, she kisses my cheek and tucks her head under my chin. This is the future I want. Sky in my arms, family, and friends close by, and possibly little ones of our own. A man can dream, especially during hard times. It pushes the pain back for the time being.

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