Page 10 of Quiet Chaos

Once we hit Mount Nebo, we all rev up and blare our horns, entering the loop. Some of my brothers pull up next to me, give a thumbs up, then fall back, letting me lead. Nothing compares to the power of a run with family. We lean into the bends, throttle on the straight paths, until we eventually park our bikes and hike over to Devil’s Kitchen. I carry the coffee tin containing dad’s ashes under my arm and trudge up to the lookout. Pillars of red protrude out from the earth. Greenery is sparse throughout the canyon.

When we arrive at the viewpoint, I open the tin, close my eyes, and dump the ashes out. My brothers don’t expect any words from me. The ashes travel on the wind and disperse around the rocks, some even falling onto the viewpoint. Reed takes pictures, along with others, while I stand there silently saying what I assume is my last goodbye to my mom and dad.

Back at my place, I fire up the grill while everyone grabs a drink and a place to sit. Armstrong is glad to have the company.

Nipples says, “Outstanding run.” He holds up his drink and exclaims, “To Charlie.” Everyone does the same.

Influencer jumps in and says, “I posted a pic of Devil’s Kitchen and have already received a thousand likes.”

Rooster challenges him. “That’s because the thousand likes all have pussies.”

“Jealous, Roost? And you’re wrong,youhit ‘like’ on the picture. Or are you hiding something from us?” We laugh as Roost tackles him to the ground, pretending to hit him.

No one can talk about pussy without Nipples jumping in. The guy loves tits. “I was with this chick the other night and her tits were huge! I’ve never seen them that big.”

“Was the pussy good?” asks Influencer.

Nipples shrugs. “Not bad. I’ve had better.”

The sex stories and banter catch fire like the alcohol. I laugh and shake my head at my brothers. They’re a bunch of horny fuckers, including me. Honest horny fuckers. We’ve never taken advantage of a woman and are up front with them. It’s amazing how many women want a taste of a biker. The leather, beards, bikes, and tats entice enough pussy that we’re all sated. Not all the brothers are married, so it’s only sex, no relationship for several of us single guys. Some women have trouble accepting it after the fact, but mostly, we all get what we want.

Swaying on his feet, Ginger says, “This girl liked redheads, so I offered her a sneak peek at my fire. Her calloused hands werechafing my dick. I asked her, ‘what the fuck is with the callouses’ and her voice dropped an octave. The bitch had a dick!”

Bourbon is in my mouth when I laugh, causing me to cough. Josie pats my back. Some club women arrive as the night progresses. Josie hangs out at the club, parties, and fucks. A sex show for the brothers to enjoy. In my weak moments, I’ve dined on her, except I’m the one she’s latched onto. I can’t get rid of her, no matter how rude I am. Josie keeps coming back for more, and I don’t want what she’s offering.

I shift away from her.

“What the hell, Cade? I’m trying to help you.”

Instead of arguing, I move into the house.

From the kitchen, I hear Patsy say to Josie, “Leave him alone. He’s had it hard lately.”

“Well, I can take away his hardness.” She licks her lips after saying it.

Rooster pipes in and says, “You can take care of me, Josie. I’ve sampled you before. You’re alright.”

She flips him off. “Fuck you, Rooster. I’m not into pre-ejaculators.”

“Bitch!”

Josie comes into the kitchen and nears. Armstrong growls next to me.

“Can you put your dog away?” Armstrong takes a step closer to her, moving her back.

She looks at me. “I’m sorry about your dad.” Josie’s hand reaches out, then snatches it back after Armstrong growls. “Cade, I miss you. We’ve spent two years together.”

I shake my head at her comment. We spent two years fucking on and off.

“Well, we might not have been exclusive, but that was your decision, not mine.” She steps forward, yet my fur buddy keeps her at a distance.

“Seriously, Cade. Get your dog away from me.”

I grip the countertop, wishing her to disappear.

Right on time, Reed comes in to save me. “QC, we’re running out of burgers.”

I nod, take out burgers from the fridge, and head back outside. As I stand by the grill, looking out onto Bear Lake, I take a drag of my cigarette. It’s a humid evening. The sky is lit up with stars. I ease out a breath of smoke. The next month I’ll find a new groove. I won’t have to call my dad to check on him. Or find him coddling a mug filled with alcohol instead of coffee. I’ll no longer have him at the office. It will be refreshing, and this thought makes me feel like an asshole.

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