Page 58 of Lightness In My Dark

“Do you want to see what’s inside the basket?” I opened it when she approached.

In a raspy whisper, she said, “It looks like things you’d bring on a date.”

I closed the top and gestured toward the couch.

Settled, I explained. “It’s not a date.” The fireplace became her focus, rubbing her chin with her shoulder. “Let me explain, but you’re not going to like it.”

Wren folded her arms and fixed her sights on me. “Maybe not, but I want to know what you’re planning.”

I inhaled a deep breath and sighed out. “The guys have been in my life for many years. We used to spend a lot more time together. One evening at twenty-one-years old, we came across an area of old cars surrounding a huge bonfire. We got stoned and drunk. Afterwards, Julius bought the land, fixed up the cars like little rooms, cleaned up the place, and once a year we meet there. Of course, Julius is still on his honeymoon, but the rest of us are going.”

“Okay. What’s with the basket?”

“We each bring some alcohol and snacks. Mason usually supplies the weed, and then… well, we fuck the women who come along.” Her mouth dropped open. “I’m not planning on fucking anyone.”

She swallowed hard and twisted a piece of blanket around her finger. “Which women are going?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care.”

Wren’s twisted facial expression killed me. “If you’re not planning on having sex, why go?”

“Hard to explain.” I ran a hand over my face. “My friends became a big part of my life. After the shit that happened to me in my teens, I needed grounding, people I could hang out with and forget the past. In a roundabout way, they helped me get over the trauma.”

“Did you tell them?”

“Hell, no. It’s not something you tell anyone, let alone guys. Too humiliating. Like I said, I never even told Carter.”

She scooted closer to me. “You trust me that much?”

Her question triggered a smile. “From the first time I met you, there was something about you I trusted. You’re genuine. You don’t play games. Telling you just happened. No justification for it. Maybe I did it to get closer to you. To cushion the guilt.” I rested my head on my shoulder. “The guys… they’re guys and molestation isn’t something to share. As for Carter, he doesn’t need to hear that shit. There’s no need for it.”

Wren gathered my hand in hers. “Finn, why do you hide the magnificence of you?” She kissed my knuckles. “I hope you have fun.” She rose, but I tugged her onto my lap.

“Listen. I said nothing because I knew you’d be upset and that’s not something I want.”

“Why didn’t you at least invite me?”

I laughed. “Invite you? Wren, there will be drugs, alcohol, and the guys bring women, sometimes sharing them.”

“Have you shared?”

I held her close to avoid facing her. “Yes. The women who came understood what was going on. We never coerced them. They were the ones searching out another partner. Those not involved didn’t have a problem with the sharing.”

She pushed away from me. “I want to go.”

I gaped at her. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not comfortable with you going and having women fall all over you.”

“They don’t fall all over me.”

Wren fisted my shirt and asked, “Please, Finn? Let me show you I can be fun. Let me—”

“I already know you’re fun.” Her face wrinkled, waiting for an answer. “Fine.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “Only on one condition. You stay by me.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

We arrived at the high wooden fence. I lifted the latch and exposed the outdoor area. Fairy lights glittered the surrounding trees. Solar lanterns hung from the sides of old refurbished cars that had beds in place of seats, and drapes covering the windows. The cars spread around an enormous fire pit in the middle, adorned with slate rocks.

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