Page 50 of Lightness In My Dark

Finn crossed his arms over his chest, releasing a sweet laugh. “I should have shown you this place a long time ago. I notice you do yoga in your bedroom, so maybe this would be better.”

My face brightened, running my fingers across the walls until I reached the windows. He was offering me a little space with beautiful scenery.

I twirled around, facing Finn, and said, “Seriously? This would be my space?”

“You can decorate it however you want. Paint the walls, furnish it, I don’t care.”

I walked right up to him with my hands folded in prayer. “Finn, thank you so much.” I spun toward the windows again. “Can I go shopping today?”

“Today?” Finn shook his head, astonished by my lack of patience. “We can go.”

“You wanna come with?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

My arms wrapped around his body, thanking him several more times, and then I ran up to change. I tried to contain my excitement. My leg bounced in the passenger’s seat as my mind thought of ways to decorate the room, while his painful past snuck into memory.

I stole glimpses of him. After what he told me, there was no doubt about his robust character. Finn had gone through a lot, kept it private, and kicked his demons’ asses. Aware of what he dealt with, his inner and outer strength triggered something inside. I studied him. He looked delicious, with his disheveled hair and dark sunglasses. One hand on the steering wheel, the other rested on the console. Dense thigh muscles hugged his jeans when he moved his legs. My mind wandered into dirty territory. With my head down, my eyes shifted sideways, wondering if all of him was as large as his personality. I huffed air through my nose, wobbled my head, and turned toward the window. Why would I think such a thing?

Finn drove to a DIY store and headed to the paint department. I picked up swatches, asking his opinion. His sweetness in providing feedback and suggesting accent walls made me appreciate him. I loved the idea, so I chose an aqua called Cathedral Glass. He threw in paintbrushes, trays, and rollers. From there, I asked to go to Ikea. Without complaint, Finn granted my request. We had so much fun tossing pillows, rugs inside the basket. I added a large picture of a hanging bridge in fog, and he asked if I wanted a daybed.

“They’re too expensive.”

“Quit worrying about money, Wren. You could put a daybed on the back wall.” He noticed my internal battle. “At least you’ll have another place to read.”

With my hands on the cart, Finn stood behind me and turned it toward the beds. His intoxicating smell made my body perspire, running downwards, watering my little garden patch. I pictured his manly parts as a garden tool for my garden—soiling me, prodding, and dipping in.

Finn tickled my side. “Hey, Wren. Where’d you go?”

My hand swiped down the side of my face, holding my warm cheek, apologizing. Thankful he didn’t push the subject.

“We’ll need to get some lighting for the room.”

How different he was from a couple of days ago, when he was drunk and smacked me across the face. Finn was trying to make up for hitting me, but I also didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. He didn’t need to do any of it. He apologized.

“Finn. I know you’re sorry. You should not feel like this is the only way I’ll forgive you. I’ve already forgiven you.” He was about to say something, but I cut him off. “I have forgiven, but not forgotten.”

Finn plopped down on a daybed and patted the seat next to him. I took shy steps before he tickled and pulled me down onto the bed. I chuckled at his childlike manner, settling into it.

He put his hands behind his head and said, “First, I told you I’d do whatever I can to make it up to you.” My mouth opened and shut as he held two fingers. “Second, I should have given you the room a long time ago. Third, you deserve a place of your own other than your bedroom. Fourth, I’m not buying all this stuff out of guilt.” I gave him a sideways glance. “Okay, maybe a little, but I got the money. It’ll be your sanctuary.” He put his arm around my shoulders, hauled me closer, and kissed the top of my head. “Besides, I’m kind of having fun.” I tilted my head toward him, and he tapped my nose with his index finger. “If you tell anyone I said that I’ll deny it.” I laughed.

In the end, I got a daybed for the room. I continued to thank Finn, but he brushed it off. He was working from home the entire week. For some odd reason, my body warmed to that fact. I asked him if I could get a ladder to start in the room tomorrow. Finn offered to hire painters. I declined, wanting to do it myself. Not only did he offer to set up a drop cloth and ladder, but he would help.

Finn set his mind to making up for all that he had done, offered to assist, and it surprised me he knew how to paint a room. When I stated so, he scoffed at me, and said, “What you can’t do, you learn on YouTube.”

Chapter 22 – Transformed

WREN

By the time I went to my new yoga room, Finn had laid down the tarp and setup the ladder. We tucked the things we had bought in the far corner to avoid getting paint on them. I stood in the middle by the single step that ran the width of the room, contemplating which walls to paint. Facing the windows, the left wall had a large protruding panel from the rest of the wall. No idea what it was for. It made sense to paint that one along with the far back wall.

Finn walked in carrying the brushes, rollers, and a can of paint. How was I going to paint with a shirtless Finn? He had on ripped jeans with splatters of colors on them and tattered gym shoes. My farm girl attire was not even close to being cute.

You’re painting, not seducing him. But he looks too yummy, I just want to lick him.

He tossed the items on the tarp, and with his hands on his hips, said, “Are we painting or going to a ho down?”

I tossed a brush at him. He ducked to the side, laughing as it missed him.

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