Page 22 of Lightness In My Dark

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I twisted my head to my side window.

Chris cleared his throat. “I thought we could catch up. Maybe go on a date?” He wiped at his eyes with the cloth.

“It’s nice of you to ask, but…” I held up my engagement ring. “I’m engaged.”

He let out a heavy breath. “Oh, congratulations.” The well wishes didn’t carry the same weight coming from his monotone. He swiped his eye one more time and said, “I guess I better let you go.”

“Wait, can you drive?”

With a slight nod and a smile, he said, “I’m fine, Wren. Thanks for helping me out.”

“Next time I’ll look first.”

We smiled and then Chris did the unexpected. He reached behind my head, pulled me close, and kissed me on the forehead. Releasing me, he said as he was getting out, “I wish you the best. Take care of yourself.”

I observed him walking away in my rearview mirror. The guilt of hurting him with the pepper spray and my engagement admission burned my chest. The ache had me shedding tears.

With the doors locked, I sat in the car and cried. After a while, I didn’t even know what I was crying about. Did it have to do with Chris? Or with Finn? Since moving into Finn’s place, loneliness burrowed into my soul. Separated from everything—no connection—and being with Nat and Maddie solidified it. Finn brought out inadequacies in me. I struggled to grasp his social circle and lifestyle. But I must if I wanted the money.

And there was my attraction to Finn. He didn’t share the same allure. I had wondered what he did when not at home. I speculated Finn met with women, leaving me sensitive, and overall, shittier about myself. Of course, our marriage wasn’t genuine, but the dirtiness of it, along with what I presumed he did outside the house, made it difficult to shake away. Not that I was offering my services to him.

My tears dried and I returned to the smothering reality of my life. The constant discomfort I held at bay, so it didn’t crush me, created a rigidity in my muscles. Sometimes, I realized how tired I was… so tired at twenty-four years old.

I arrived home at around six o’clock. Finn’s car was not in the driveway. A quiet house. I didn’t even hear Chef Dan chopping up a storm in the kitchen or smell his wonderful dishes. I headed upstairs to my room for a shower and some reading.

Several hours later, the door slammed shut, footsteps ran upstairs. Before I made it to the bed, my door crashed open. Finn stood there like a bull in an arena—me, the red cape.

“Where the fuck have you been all day?”

My knee halfway on the bed, I climbed up, stuttering, “With friends.”

Hell-bent on making me feel small, he stalked over to the foot of the bed, clenched his fists, and through gritted teeth said, “I’ve been calling you all day!”

I grabbed the blanket and twisted it in my hands, asking, “Why?”

“Because I had last-minute dinner plans to take a client and his wife out and needed my fiancé there.” I could only force out anOh.

Finn turned away and ran a hand through his hair. “That’s all you can say isOh?”

I yanked the blanket toward my chest. “I didn’t know—”

“No shit, Wren! That’s why it was last minute. You’re required to be at my beck and call 24/7.” He stood with his hands on his waist, waiting for an explanation.

“Um…” I slid my legs underneath the blanket. “I met up with friends.”

“Did you lose your phone?” Sarcasm dripped like a melting iceberg.

Under the covers, I said, “Well, no. I had it, but…” I closed my eyes to avoid his reaction toward my comment. “I forgot to check it.”

He kicked the bed. “As long as this contract is active, you check your phone as if your life depends on it. Do you fucking understand?”

The words caught in my throat. I simply nodded. He stormed out before I apologized. But the slamming of the door gave me his response. Again, I cried as my body shivered with anxiety. My conflicting feelings for him, captivation and fear increased every time we were in the same room. I wanted to be in his favor. I wanted him to find me attractive, but I didn’t want to be with him. Or for him to be with any other woman. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I held and fell back into my pillows.

Chapter 8 – Wedding Planner: Take Two

WREN

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