Page 27 of Lightness In My Dark

He slammed his mouth against mine. His hand grabbed the back of my head to keep me in place. I tried to push him away while grabbing his coat to pull him closer. His lips were delicious, exactly what I imagined, reminding me of what I’ve missed. It had been so long since I’d been close to a man, and Finn had invaded my dreams since I met him. He tried to slip his tongue in, but Amanda’s words came to mind. “I had Finn Jr.” Brought to my senses, I opened my mouth, and bit his lip.

Finn pushed away, ran his finger along his lip, and saw blood. “You bit me? What the hell is wrong with you?”

I went to the other side of the room, arms folded in front of me, back to the wall. Finn’s eyes connected with mine as he walked toward me, stopping in front, and licked his bottom lip. He tilted his head to the side and held his hand out. Like the idiot I am, I slipped mine into his.

He looked at our entwined hands and said, “Let me show you around.”

The marble hallway floors gleamed spotless, with plants and flowers strewn around and at the reception desks. Chlorine hit me as Finn pointed out the pools and saunas. The workout rooms and areas where they held classes, such as Zumba, had some glass enclosures. People could watch equipment being hoisted, pulled, or pressed. There were at least four large ballrooms and a couple of restaurants and bars. His arm swept the expanse of the glassed-in hallway while explaining the eighteen-hole golf course. Not a golfer myself, but I pictured the green expanse of the then snow-covered tees. During the tour, anger or sarcasm hid for the time being.

We walked hand-in-hand back to his friends, who had ordered appetizers and more drinks. They talked about their parties, charity balls, and get-togethers. I sat and listened to their pretentious mannerisms and escapades.

One guy said, “Hey, Sophia read an article about Wren cheating on you.”

I scooted closer to Finn, who scoffed at the statement. “Sophia should stop reading gossip tabloids.”

Sophia ignored the jab. “No need to talk about me in third person. I’m right here. And so what if I like gossip tabloids? It doesn’t mean it’s false information.”

He shook his head and laughed at her. “You’re kidding, right?”

Amanda came to Sophia’s defense. “They had a picture of Wren in a car with a half-naked guy, kissing her. From the looks of it, your vanilla is playing the field before the ‘I do’s’.”

My hand found his, absorbing the scene. Finn ridiculed them. “That’s right, Amanda. My vanilla, as you call her, is out there letting it all hang out.”

Some of the group laughed, and then Mason asked, “What’s the actual story?”

Finn hung his arm on the back of my chair and sighed as he reiterated what I told him. They nodded, accepting his account, and returned to eating and drinking.

It was late afternoon when we arrived back home, both of us exhausted. The sun had set. I stood in my underwear and bra in my closet, tossing clothes in the hamper and folding a few, when Finn appeared in sweats, no shirt.

I covered my breasts with my arms, turned toward the drawers, and said, “Get out, Finn!”

His soft steps wandered behind. Finn placed his hands on the drawers on both sides of me, trapping me in. He dipped his head down, lips near my ear, and whispered, “I know you want me. I’ve caught you checking me out.”

My breath seized. “What are you talking about?”

He hadn’t moved, nor did he touch me. His breath heated the side of my face. He was smiling by the way he said it. In a breathy tone, he continued. “Whatever you imagine I can do to your body… I can and more… beyond your imagination.” I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “I’d start where my mouth is now. Traveling over your skin, nipping your neck… the curve of your collarbone. Tongue soothing your delicate, marked skin.” My breathing reacted to his words with a crisp inhale. Just above a whisper, Finn pressed on. “Can you feel it? The warmth and wetness as my mouth claims you? Fingers sliding along your shoulders, arms, grazing the crescents of your breasts... rough grips, teeth caging your tit, swirling my tongue to ease the discomfort and…”

I pressed against the drawers, clenching my eyes closed along with my legs to block out and hide the fear. The dirty arousal. A tear found its way out. It lingered on the cusp of my upper left cheek bone. Tainted byhim, my body unable to give into sexual desires. To frolic with offerings from the devil I’m engaged to or allow him to see an ounce of my secret cravings. His shift narrowed the gap between us, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Back of my hand brushing down your stomach. The other squeezing your ass. Hiking you up into my arms. Your legs instinctively wrap around my waist. We wait… anticipate, my fingers dip into your pussy, smearing your arousal around—”

“Stop it!” I turned to face him; arms crossed over my bra.

He saw the tear stain and stepped back, not realizing I was crying. Finn whispered a goodnight and disappeared. I crumbled to the floor, releasing the rest of the tears, until I collapsed onto the bed. Cocooned under the covers, I mumbled a prayer to help me through this proposition, and then I slept. I fantasized about Finn’s touches. Him fulfilling all my needs. Only in my dreams, though.

Chapter 10 – A Day of Reprieve

FINN

I woke with the biggest hard-on after dreaming of Wren and the things I said I’d do to her. With my arm over my eyes, I fucked my hand to relieve myself of the tension, all the while picturing her. When I finished, I cleaned up and headed to my home gym to release some pent-up energy.

My thoughts drifted back to yesterday’s shit show with my friends. The way they reacted to Wren surprised me. I knew they didn’t like outsiders, but she was my fiancé. They didn’t give Wren much of a chance to warm up to them. Amanda’s bullshit, though… she crossed the line, and Kye let her say whatever she wanted. Whether we shared women, who would want to be with someone who talked about another guy’s dick?

I sat at the Hammer Strength Machine with my head hanging down, sweat dripping onto the floor. I dealt Wren a shitty hand. Instead of apologizing when she confronted me about the wedding planner, I walked away. A coward’s reaction. I had no reason to fuck Jillian, especially knowing Wren would have to deal with her.

Difference in appearance, I found Wren attractive. I’ve never dated a woman with short hair, nor did any woman in our crowd have her hair type. Also, apiccola. Most women I’ve been with are leggy, large-breasted, while Wren was a little one, with cup-size breasts. But I kept visualizing her from the dinner party. She was stunning. Charmed by her poise and softened ways, everyone at the party said nothing but good things about her. She struggled with people touching her, yet she worked through it. Despite that, Wren closed herself off to everyone. To me.

Stretching out my leg, I rubbed my knee to relieve the pain. The oxycodone I received after my skydiving accident wasn’t doing the job. After the increase in dosage, I became addicted. My hands glided through my wet hair and scrunched it tight. Wren put a wrench in my plan. By nature, I wasn’t an outright jerk, but Wren twisted my guts. Because of her indifference toward me, I pushed her limits, antagonized her until she would bend to my will. She didn’t show any interest other than checking out my body, which meant zero intent. Never had a woman made me so insignificant as Wren did.

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