Page 16 of Lightness In My Dark

“Are you fucking kidding me, Wren? Xanax? Where did you even get them?”

I raised my head. “I’ve had them for a while.” His face hardened. “They were a year old. I didn’t think they’d even work.” I hoped he wouldn’t ask why I had them.

“And?” His body straightened.

I shrugged my shoulders to my ears and let them drop. “The pill mixed with the wine caused a reaction.”

His mouth dropped open. “You think?”

I turned, blinking away the tears. What I had done and how I had acted were wrong. My voice crumpled like paper. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I am. I’m …” I stopped to wipe my tears.

His body melted onto the couch. “You’re lucky the mixture didn’t have a worse effect on you. It can’t happen again, Wren. Those were important meetings but introducing you to colleagues and friends is on a whole different level.”

I turned toward him to show him I’d make it right. “It won’t happen again. I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes to—”

“Except pills and alcohol.”

My head bobbed up and down. He stared at me to make sure I understood everything he said.

“Okay, onto the next thing. First, you need to work on looking at people when they’re talking to you. Second, you can’t stumble over words and use fillers like um. Third, you need to get more comfortable with physical affection.”

I nodded fast and lifted my finger for each point. “I’ll work on looking at people and learn to speak without the broken speech.”

“Good. How about you move closer to me?”

My eyebrows pinched together. “Huh?” He didn’t repeat the question, only waited.

At quicksand slowness, I made my way over to his side of the couch, leaving a foot between us. I faced forward again to avoid gaping at him.

“I don’t bite.” He rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “Well, I won’t bite you. Move closer.”

I decreased the gap, still at attention, losing what little saliva I had left. His arm rested above my head on the back of the couch.

He laughed, so I turned to see what about. “What? Why are you laughing?”

“Because you are so fucking tense! My God, I’ve never met someone so nervous to sit near anyone.”

My breathing hitched, and unable to stop them, tears sprung out. With the back of my hand, I wiped them away as I attempted to get up. Finn grasped my arm and said, “Hey, I’m sorry.” I stood there, listening to him. “No more laughing about it.” I sat down. “We need to work on it, though. You need to get comfortable with me.” His beautiful smile set my shoulders at ease.

There you go, bowing your head, eyes shifting to his pecs, abs, and his V-shaped torso that leads down… For someone so scared about touching people, your sexual fantasy explorations are igniting like fireworks.

Finn waited, watched me checking him out with a dominant smile, one side raised with his eyebrow. My head jerked to my fidgeting hands.

“How about you take my hand and interlace your fingers?”

I let out a nervous laugh. “This is silly. I don’t have to practice.”

“Are you sure? The way you reacted at the photographer’s by sitting near me is proof enough any form of contact is difficult for you. I think practice will help you become more at ease with affection.” He placed his hands in his lap. “Take my hand.”

“Okay.” My hand slinked toward his left one in his lap, and I placed my hand on top.

“This time, do it without hesitating and intertwine our fingers.” My face heated, but before he could finish the sentence, I had my hand interlaced in his. He gave a cocky grin. I tried to move my hand, but he gripped it tighter.

After a moment, my hand dampened, and I prayed he assumed it was because he held it tight. I could feel my heart beating in my ears. Finn was like a thunderstorm: heat, electricity, and power. I had conflicting emotions—excitement over this charismatic, alluring man, along with wanting to cower from his intimidating charm.

“Wren, you with me?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

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