Page 18 of Chased Bear

I walked through the back door and forced myself to stop. If I had my way, I’d be rushing up to my room and closing the door. I couldn’t imagine him saying anything that I wanted to hear and getting more upset wasn’t in my plans for the day… or ever.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“To say I was wrong.”

“You already said that, why are we back here?” I took a step closer to him. I wasn’t trying to be flirty, but it must’ve come across that way because he took a step closer, too, his bear pretty close to the surface.

“Yeah, but…” He reached behind me, and when he pulled back, he had a vase of wildflowers. “I picked these for you.”

I took them, trying to absorb what was happening.

“Are you trying to give me whiplash?”

Adyan glanced at me in confusion.

“One minute I think you like me and another I think you hate me. It’s so hard to keep track of.” I couldn’t meet his eyes. Letting him see how vulnerable he made me was hard enough without witnessing his pity.

“That’s not it. I like you. I like you a lot, but also, we aren’t mates and I have responsibilities. This can never be more than it is.”

Fuck. He sounded as disappointed by that as I was.

“More than avoiding each other or more than banging?” Crass? Maybe. But also honest.

“It’s not like that.”

This time I did look him straight in the eye. If he was going to play that game, I was going to make him see what he was doing to me. Only when I looked into his orbs, I didn’t see a player or a dick. No. I saw Aydan being just as vulnerable as I was.

“Your responsibilities mean you can’t be with me. But you can be with someone.” Finnegan, but bringing him up felt like a jealous boyfriend thing to do. And besides, he knew who I meant. It wasn’t a huge-ass secret around here.

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes. “The den comes first.”

I closed the short distance between us and wrapped my arms around him tightly. “I understand.”

It wasn’t a lie. I did, and it sucked.

He hugged me back, and I ignored the hardness growing between us, both his and mine. What a pair we were, both of us wanting what we couldn’t have.

I wanted to tell him that I could be his Finnegan, that I could somehow be the political move he needed. But it would be a lie. I was a floater who needed a den, not part of a family with power. For a second, I considered telling him it was fine and I didn’t mind. That too would be a lie. It wasn’t fine and I very much did mind. In the end I said, “I’ll take it.”

“Take what?” He pulled back.

“Take what you can give… this. I know it won’t be forever.” Or even semi long-term. “And I’m fine with that.” If fine meant I was handing him my heart to stomp on.

“Are you sure?” He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into it.

“It is what it is.” And before he could say anything else, I sealed my lips with his, kissing him with all the passion I felt. Would I regret this? Absolutely, but I’d regret not doing it even more.

“Take me to bed, Alpha. Show me how much you want me.”

I gasped as Aydan swept me off my feet, his strong arms cradling me against his chest, the one covered in far too much cloth. I wanted our skin to be pressed together. Stupid clothing.

My skin tingled in the few places where our skin did touch, electricity crackling between us. I’d never felt this kind of connection with anyone. It was something I only expected to find with a true mate. But that wasn’t in the cards, and if this was all we could have, I wasn’t going to turn it down.

He carried me to the bedroom, not stopping for even a second. He wanted this too. Gods, I wished my nose worked and I could scent his need.

“I need you,” I breathed, running my hands over his shoulders, wishing I could place my mark there. But alas, that would never be.

“I need you too,” Aydan growled, more bear than human, his voice thick and husky.

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