Page 147 of Monster in Disguise

A rage unlike anything I've ever felt takes over me, and my fingers wrap themselves around the side of his neck, forcefully shoving his head into the wall. The first impact elicits a cry from Father, and it only spurs me on. Over and over, I smash his brain against the concrete wall, watching blood and brain matter stain the surface. I only release him when he stops struggling.

It's done.

It's beenmonths since I've seen the light of day. Stuck in a tiny apartment, a prison of my making, I can only wait for Valentino's next update about Catalina.

That's the only thing that's been keeping me going. The knowledge that she's doing well, and the hope that she will heal.

But it all comes crashing down one day.

"What do you mean?" I croak. "How can she be missing?"

"I'm sorry. Romina said Rocco disowned her. She's probably..." He trails off, and I get what he's hinting at.

"No. It can't be. Why wait so long? It's been months and nothing happened... There must be a mistake." I'm panicking, the sheer thought of a world without Catalina filling me with unimaginable dread.

"You realize the chances of her being alive are slim, don't you?" His voice is somber, and I fall back, shocked to my very core.

I'd refused to believe her own family would turn against her. I'd refused to think she would be anything but safe back home.

But I should have known better. No mafioso would allow a dishonored daughter to continue bearing the family name. And if Rocco has one predominantly deadly sin, it's hubris. A pride that wouldn't let him overlook her lack of virtue.

No...

I hang up, my mind blanking.

I killed her. I did it. I should have known that someone like me can't touch something as pure as her without tainting her. And I did it... I condemned her to hell.

I fall to my knees, my eyes tearing up. Without even thinking, I wrap my hand around the whip lying by me, and with all the strength I can muster, I fling it back, flinching at the biting contact.

I deserve it. I need to feel what she endured on that table. I need to hurt for her.

The more I think about her, the more force I apply.

Whip.

Whip.

Whip.

I'm cursed.

Whip.

Whip.

Whip.

I hit and hit, but it's not enough. Blood and sweat mingle down my back, sticking to my flesh like a second skin.

Still not enough.

All reason leaves me as I numbly move around the room, exerting one last effort. My mind is foggy as everything else fades away, my only remaining goal to join her.

I use an old cable, making a sturdy knot and securing it to the light fixture on the ceiling. Stepping on a small chair, I place the noose around my neck, immediately kick the support away, and wait for death.

My eyes close, my breathing slows, the cable digging into my skin. Lightheaded, I feel myself slipping. And there she is. She's smiling at me, her eyes twinkling with affection.

Lina...

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