Page 55 of Monster in Disguise

The moment I imagine her swallowing my cum, licking her lips as if it's dessert, I lose it. I feel my balls contracting, and I shoot my load all over the shower stall.

"Fuck!" I mutter, barely able to hold myself still as the intensity of the orgasm hits me. I need to put a hand on the wall to steady myself, all the while dizzy and breathing hard.

It's not long before the euphoria disappears, though, and a deep sense of shame envelops me.

Fuck... how could I do that? How...

How could I defile her like that, even if it's in my mind?

I curse at myself.

On shaky legs, I get out of the bathroom, my mind still foggy and disoriented. The amount of self-loathing I'm feeling right now overwhelms me, and I can do nothing but stumble towards my altar. I trip on my legs and fall, but my single-minded focus doesn't let me stop.

I crawl until I reach the table housing my paraphernalia, and I take my rosary in one hand, and the whip in the other.

I need to stay away from her...

The more I'm near her, the more I risk defiling her with my darkness... more than I already have. I angle the whip and I strike, my eyes squeezed shut, my mouth parted as I experience the pain.

I must pay for my sins.

I do it again.

Whip!

And again.

Whip!

Why?

Whip!

Why must I want her so badly?

Whip!

I'm dirty... vile.

Whip!

Tears are running down my face, but I don't stop. My old wounds have probably reopened, but I relish the extra bite of pain.

Whip!

I need to suffer.

Whip!

I am a sinner...

The pain brings me down, and I crouch on the ground, bringing my knees to my chest and tightening my fist around the rosary. I slowly rock as I say my prayer.

I pray thatshewill be fine.

I pray for strength to keep myself from her.

And... I pray for it all to end.

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