"I killed him..." I whisper, and close my eyes shut, trying to block the memory of the spilled blood.
"He deserved it. He was a vile human being, and you protected your daughter. What you did was very brave." He adds, and I look up to see his expression. His eyes arealmostwarm.
"He wanted to kill me," I confess. Would I have killed him if he hadn't attacked me? Maybe...
"Stop blaming yourself. It's over."
"It's not... I keep remembering..." I shake my head.
Marcello stands up and starts pacing around the room.
"The first time is certainly the worst."
I whip my head around to regard him. Does he mean...?
"You've killed someone before?" I dare to ask.
He gives a dry laugh.
"Someone..." He muses before chuckling again. "Yes. I've killed someone." He pauses before saying, "I've killedmanysomeone."
I'm stunned at his admission, more so because I thought that maybe he was different. I know that my family was... is involved in that type of shady business. But considering what I'd heard from Sisi about him, I thought he might be different.
With one last look, he turns to leave.
"Wait," I call out.
I'm not finished. Why is he always so ready to ignore me? Am I so contemptible?
"I'll have Amelia compile a list of therapists – female therapists. She'll bring it to you. If that's all..." He turns once more and opens the door to leave, and if I wasn't so anxious I might have rolled my eyes.
"There's something else."
He pauses, closes the door and leans against it.
"I'm listening."
"What am I supposed to do?"
Marcello frowns at me. "What do you mean?"
I bring my hands to my lap and I start fidgeting. Marcello doesn't exactly make it easy for me to talk to him.
"What should I do all day? I mean..." I trail off, trying to find the right words. "Venezia and Claudia will have their lessons, but what about me? Is there anything I can do around the house?"
"No. There's not," he replies.
"Then?"
"What do you want to do?" he asks me and I still. What doIwant to do? I have no clue.
"I don't know," I answer honestly. "At the convent, I did my share of chores and that was that."
"Then let me ask you differently. What do you like?" His eyes glint in the dimly lit room, and I find myself lost in them.
You.
I quickly shake myself when I realize my train of thought. Surely not... no, of course not. That was just a rogue thought.