Page 148 of Monster in Disguise

"Am I dead?" I whisper, holding on to the mirage of her.

"No, silly, you're not." Her hand reaches out to touch my face, tenderness emanating from her entire being.

"How can you not hate me?" I sob, and she draws me into her arms.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you," she reassures me, sharing her warmth with me. "But it's not your time yet, Marcello." She chides softly. "Go out into the world and do good. Show me how much you repent by helping others."

"I don't want to leave you." I hold on to her tighter, begging her to let me stay with her.

"We'll meet again." She draws back and places a sweet kiss on my lips.

I open my eyes, pain emanating from my entire back and head. I blink twice, realizing I'm on the floor staring at the ceiling. Still alive.

I won't let you down, Lina.

It takes me a few more months to get myself together, but I enroll in college. I devote all my time to study, all to achieve my new goal—help the other Catalinas of the world. I accustom myself to being alive while she's not, but I dedicate everything to her memory. As much as I strive to be normal though, some things have irrevocably changed.

Like my ability to sleep. Not that it was great before. Or my ability to withstand touch. The first time someone brushed their hand over mine, I'd gotten such a terrible panic attack someone had called an ambulance.

I'm vile. Disgusting. A monster.

And no one should be tainted by my touch.

Catalina

PRESENT-DAY

Enzo's persistent knocking echoes through the bathroom, breaking through my thoughts for what feels like the hundredth time today. My heart sinks as I realize he's come to check on me again.

"Go away, Enzo," I yell back, my voice muffled by the door. Can't he understand that I don't want to see anyone right now?

"Lina, I'm not leaving until you open this goddamn door." His words are harsh and determined, causing a knot to form in my stomach. I can hear him knocking harder now, and I fear he might break down the door.

My eyes squeeze shut as I take a deep breath and try to gather myself. After a moment of hesitation, I finally give in and open the door.

"Lina..." Enzo's voice is filled with concern as he takes in my red and swollen face. "It's been a few days already," he comments with a shake of his head. "I'm worried about you."

Since the confrontation with Marcello, I had taken Claudia with me and left immediately. She had asked countlessquestions, disappointed that we were leaving so suddenly. But what had hit me the hardest was when she mentioned how much she would miss Marcello.

Good Lord! He has known all along that Claudia is his daughter, but how am I ever supposed to tell her that? Or explain how she was conceived...

As hard as it was for me to process all of this, Claudia seemed to have fallen back into her normal routine of playing with Luca. Meanwhile, I spent my days locked away in my room, crying.

"You shouldn't be worried about me," I add half-heartedly. Enzo already knows about Marcello's betrayal, and it took everything in him not to go after him.

Worry etches deep lines into his forehead as he looks at me, his eyes full of concern. It's the first time I've noticed how much I've been pushing everyone away, consumed by my own pain.

"You don't look fine," he says softly, his voice laced with worry and understanding.

"I just found out the man I fell in love with was the same man who brutally raped me ten years ago. I think I'm doing fine, all things considered," I snap, my tone sharp and defensive. Immediately, I feel guilty for lashing out and quickly add, "Sorry."

Enzo turns to face me, his expression hardened with determination. "I'm going to kill him," he declares.

I grab his arm, panic rising in my chest. "No, please stop. Don't make this more difficult than it already is."

"I'll make sure you get a divorce," he says tensely, but I can only let out a bitter laugh.

"A divorce? You think anyone's going to let that slide? There's no divorce in our world, Enzo."

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