Page 141 of Monster in Disguise

"I know, piccola. Do you really want to grow up so soon? Father is already looking for a match." And with those words, they disappeared into the depths of the mansion, leaving me in a state of confusion and longing.

It wasn't until later that I realized Lina must be Rocco's youngest daughter, Catalina. A strange feeling overcame me as I put two and two together—she could marry no one but me.

But how could someone like me ever deserve her? She was like a ray of sunshine in my otherwise bleak life. But perhaps I could try to deserve her...to be a good man for her.

TWO MONTHS LATER

As I approach the fence, she leans against it and peers at me with curiosity. I quickly pull up my hood, hoping to conceal the extent of my injuries. My face is still swollen and discolored from the beating I received a few days ago—a sickly mix of purple and yellow around my eyes and nose.

"I thought you wouldn't come." Her voice is tinged with relief.

"I thought so too." I reply gruffly, the pain in my voice betraying the severity of my wounds. My stab wound has become infected, forcing me to drain it on my own this morning. But I keep this information to myself—there's no need to worry her. The idea of someone caring about my well-being is foreign to me, but it's also comforting.

Looking up at her from beneath my hood, I can't help but admire her ethereal beauty. Her shy smile washes away all thoughts of pain and danger.

"I can only stay for a little while." My father has been keeping a watchful eye on me, especially after losing his men who were tasked with following me. But I won't take any chances when it comes to Catalina.

I've come to accept that no matter how much I want to be with her, it may never be possible. Being with me would put her in danger, and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her.

After many sleepless nights, I've made the decision to distance myself from her. Even though I have already spoken to Rocco about our potential union, it's for the best that I take a step back.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She studies me closely, concern etched across her features.

"Yes...thank you for everything." My words fail to convey the depth of gratitude and admiration I feel towards her. She is like a beam of sunlight in my dark world, and I will carry the memory of her with me always.

Taking a deep breath, I feel my throat tighten and my eyes start to water. It's strange how the worst physical pain couldn't bring me to tears, but the thought of never seeing her again has me on the verge of bawling.

The hardest part is knowing that I will never have the chance to meet her again – not even in death. She belongs with the angels while I am destined for a life in the gutter.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her voice breaks through my thoughts and brings me back to reality.

"I won't be able to come again," I confess sadly. "It's... complicated."

Her expression falls, and I can see the sadness in her eyes at my words.

"Are you in trouble? Maybe I can talk to my father or brother and they could help." Catalina offers eagerly, but I know that there is no one who can truly help me. No one except myself.

But at least she offered.

I stand up, not wanting to stay any longer as it would only make things harder.

"Lord!" She gasps suddenly, pointing at my chest. I look down and see that my wound from earlier has reopened and is bleeding once again.

"It's nothing," I shrug it off, already turning to leave. But before I can take another step, she reaches behind her neck and unties her scarf.

"Can you come a little closer?" She asks softly. A part of me hesitates, knowing that being this close to her will only make my desire for her stronger.

But just like a man on the brink of starvation, I go. I don't think I could ever say no to her. When I'm next to the opening in the fence, she reaches between the pickets to wrap her scarf around my torso. She struggles a little, so I try to help her, getting one last feel of her soft hands.

"Thank you," I say once again, and I bring both her hands to my lips. What I wouldn't give to worship this woman for the rest of my life... ButI, better than anyone, should know that we seldom get what we wish for.

With a last parting gaze, I leave, holding a piece of her with me forever.

She's all that's pure and good, and I want her to remain like that. I would only taint her with my bloodstained hands; hold her down with the weight of my sins. She deserves better; for I wouldn't wish myself upon my greatest enemies. She deserves the heavens and above, but I can only give her hell and below.

So I let her go.

And with her, I'm also leaving my heart behind — or what little I had left.

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