Page 27 of Six Types of Apology

“Mother, I’m thirty-four and admittedly, I might have made one huge blunder at Carntan, but I fixed that. You know I did. Morgan has been sending you updates. Orion and I are very happy together.”

“Did a cave roof have to fall onto his head for that to happen?” But his mother was smiling. “Seriously, should we get him checked out for possible brain damage?”

“He’s had the best of healers working on him for over a month, Mother. He struggles sometimes with the physical limitations, but he’s moving about more and more each day.”

“But what about you, my son?” The queen patted his hand. “I heard you rescued him personally. It was you who found him in that horrific state, wasn’t it?”

Vincent nodded, staring down at his hands, thinking back to the worst day in his life. “It was hard, Mother. I thought he’d died. If he had, it would’ve been my fault because of my thoughtless behavior in Carntan. I’m doing all I can to make amends even though he forgave me ages ago. He said those actual words and I know he means them. But there’s a little part of me waiting for him to tell me to leave him. It’s what I deserve.”

“Oh, Vincent. Listen to what you’re saying. You’re all grown-up.”

“Did you miss the part when I said I’m thirty-four?” Only a mother could remind a grown man he used to be their little boy and still make him feel like one.

“Age doesn’t make you an adult, my wonderful son. You’ve fallen in love. You finally have someone who you can love and care for, that’s what I mean. You love your husband.”

“That’s what this is?” Vincent shook his head at his mother who was watching him closely. “It can’t be. I’ve been in love before, and it never felt like this.”

“That wasn’t love.” His mother laughed. “That was you lapping up the adoration from people who were looking to increase their social standing by being seen with you. You charmed them, had your way with them, paid them off with pretty gifts, and never thought about them again.”

“Are you sure?” Vincent thought about people he’d been with in the past. He definitely believed he’d been in love with one or two of them at the time – for a week or two, anyway.

“When you broke up with any of them, male or female, whoever, it doesn’t matter, but when you broke up with them, did you ever cry in your room because they didn’t want you anymore? Did you ever feel sad because that person wasn’t in your life? Were there times during the day, after the breakup, when you saw or did something and your first thought was to share that with the person you’d split from?”

Frowning, Vincent shook his head. “No. But then the splits were amicable. They always were. We’d have fun when we were together and then we weren’t, and I had fun with other people instead.”

“You could do that because you weren’t in love with them. Now think about how you’d feel if Orion told you he didn’t want to live in Faast anymore.”

“We could move somewhere else.” Vincent thought for a moment. “I don’t think either one of us would like to live in Tyrion, especially while King Oscar is on the throne, but hey, we could live in Monce which is just over the back from the mine project. Orion would probably like that.”

“But you’re the Crown Prince of Faast.” His mother started laughing.

Vincent couldn’t see what was so funny. “Yes, but you’re not going to die anytime soon, and if Orion’s unhappy here…”

“Son, son, it’s all right. It was a hypothetical situation. I’m sure Orion will love it here, and we’ll all make sure he feels like part of the family.”

“He might not appreciate your brand of humor.” Vincent still wasn’t sure why his mother thought it was a good idea to tease him.

“He will because he spends time willingly with you. Vincent, my lovely son, accept it. You’re in love. For the first time in your longand privileged life you have someone in your life that you care for more than yourself. You feel the same way about him as I did about your late father. I still miss that man every day.”

“Isn’t that hard, still feeling like that? He’s been gone so long.”

“I know, but the love we shared while he was alive made it all worth it. I have our memories, I hold him in my heart.”

“Orion can’t die before me.” Vincent shook his head. “You didn’t see him when he was lying under that stone slab and I didn’t know if I could get him free. I didn’t even know if he was breathing, or how much he’d been hurt. He’d broken his back in three places, and yet I still picked him up like a sack of potatoes to get him out of the cave because I didn’t know what else to do, but what if I’m the reason he still hurts now?” Vincent hadn’t realized his voice had risen, until his mother was hugging him close again.

“What if it’s my fault, Mother?” Vincent could hear the sob in his voice, but for once he didn’t try and hide it. Those days waiting for Orion to wake up and not knowing if he would. Those endless weeks trying to stay positive as he watched Orion struggle to heal. It was why Vincent insisted on sharing Orion’s room. Orion teased him about being needy, and he was, but not for the reasons Orion thought. Vincent had to know his husband was still breathing. “I was so scared he was going to die just because I’d been my usual stupid selfish self.”

“Oh, Vincent, you’ve been holding this in for a while, haven’t you.”

“I have to. I’ve got to be strong for Orion.” Vincent sat up, sniffing and wiping under his eyes with his hand. “I figure if he sees me treating him as though he wasn’t injured, then he’ll come to believe he will heal fully, too. And he will. Mortrin, the healer from Monce said as much. But they couldn’t tell us when,and Orion was already worried he wasn’t good enough for me. Mother, I’m scared he’s going to wake up one day and realize I’m not good enough for him.”

“From what I’ve heard, Orion’s not a shallow man. From what I’ve seen during our meeting, I can tell he cares for you as well. You just have to remember not to take his affection for granted and perhaps share your fears with him sometimes. I don’t mean for you to go crying on his shoulder every five minutes, but you should always be honest with him especially when it relates to your feelings for him.”

“I’ll try, but for now, the only important thing is Orion’s recovery.” Vincent shook off his negative thoughts and then patted his chest. “This being in love business is very emotionally challenging, isn’t it?”

“You’ll settle in time.” His mother was chuckling again. “Both of you will find your groove and learn to work with each other. There will be times when you won’t agree, but so long as you remember to talk things out between yourselves, you’ll be all right. Your marriage will work.”

“I really want it to.”

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