Page 74 of Breaking Away

“I’m a selfish bastard. I don’t offer anything that could inconvenience me. Having you move in for a few weeks won’t change my life at all.”

She nods, as if relieved. “Okay… then…Okay.Yes.” She looks away. “I don’t have much of a choice. Hopefully things change for the better going forward. I want them to change.”

She seems sad. Dejected.

It slices me.

I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything will be fine. That I’m here now. How she never has to worry about anything, and she can be whatever she wants. That I’m going to take care of her. How there’s no way, in any reality, I’ll ever let her be homeless.

My fingernails bite into my palms. “Have fun packing.”

We don’t say goodbye. My last sight of Kavi is her softly frowning as she watches me go. Her body melts against the doorframe. The sweater she’s wearing is such a damn blob, but the way my gut kicks tells me.

She’s not just pretty, she’s fucking lovely. Her mouth is a peach rosebud, even when it’s turned down. Large brown eyes are fringed with thick lashes, skeptically staring at me. Dark cherry tendrils frame her face. Her chest isn’t moving as if she’s holding her breath in tight.

I’ve sentenced myself to punishment by having her live with me, but I can’t take it back. Some mountainous invisible chain won’t let me.

How bad could a few weeks together be?

I tell myself I’ll barely be home. I won’t even know she’s there.

30

KAVI

A tear rollsdown my cheek as I say a last goodbye to my apartment.

Beside me, Lokhov’s assistant shuffles away.

Yes. He sent me his assistant.

Pat is a fifty-something woman with blunt salt and pepper bangs, and the kind of efficient orderliness that makes a person feel lazy, no matter how much they’re also working. She’s quiet, but has a too-expressive face that tells me her inner thoughts are out-of-control. Her fingers are glued to a rotating set of devices. Phone, second phone, tablet, and second tablet. Dressed in navy monotones, I find her stylishly intimidating.

I think she finds me… nothing. I’m on a to-do list for her boss.

Normally, I would have gotten really upset over Lokhov’s overbearing gesture of help, but Pat is visibly enjoying herself. She gives me half a day, and the rest of the weekend is a vacation for her, paid for by Lokhov.

And in one afternoon, so much gets done that I’m forcibly grateful instead of annoyed. The storage unit is arranged,movers come and take everything, and now I’m down to a single suitcase…

No, actually like four suitcases of stuff.

Landing in Vancouver, I have to order a van-taxi to fit everything.

The driver grunts at my comments about rain. I’ve been babbling the whole time, but his answers have become monosyllabic. To stop annoying him, I quietly tap my boots against each other instead. My skin has goosebumps.

You’re really doing this, Kavi.

When I see the ocean, the roof of my mouth dries.

This IS happening.

My parents know I’m here. This morning my mother texted me, asking me out for lunch. Whatever icing strategy was happening, she rebelled, tapping out. We had never gone that long without talking to each other.

Over text, I told her I was flying to Vancouver to stay with a friend, strongly implying it was a woman to fend off questions.

Not that my parents deserve an explanation.

Okay, they might. Mom is pushing me toward Tyler only because—on paper—it’s a great life to lead. Money. Security. Status. For me, a woman who didn’t go to college and has no credible job experience, it’s winning the lottery of a lifetime. Only if I accept men make mistakes, of the cheating variety.

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