Page 64 of Breaking Away

The dress that my mom made for me?—

I feel gorgeous, even if I’m coughing up mucus. Ugh, I’m sweaty and heated, and I shouldn’t be going to prom, but I want to go. I need to go.

My boyfriend will be crowned prom king.

Tyler is sure of it.

He’s been looking forward to prom for the last few months, and how I’ll be there with him. But now I’ve gotten myself sick, and because of that, we decided I should stay home and rest.

Well, he brought it up. But it’s for my sake. So I don’t get worse.

“He loves you,” I tell the quivering girl in the mirror. “Just eat a banana or something, and then go surprise your boyfriend.”

Yes, we’ve saidI love youto each other. Tyler actually said it pretty early on. The first time surprised me, and I got quiet hearing it, but it’s because I must have been soaking it up. The nerves in my stomach were from disbelief. I didn’t expect us to be together in the first place.

On paper, Tyler Smith and Kavleen Basra make little sense, because he’s so… everything…

I sneeze into my hand.

Of course, I had to get sick! Why am I not surprised? So typical of me.

I haven’t been doing a lot right these days.

My mind drifts to last night. Mom made pasta for dinner, dad was on back-to-back phone calls, and Tyler was beaming because he’d scored the winning goal in his hockey game earlier that day. It was the four of us around the table.

We started as three, but Tyler has slotted himself perfectly into the picture. He’s a chameleon. So easily he goes from being polite to my mom and impressing her with compliments, to being secretive and close with my dad when they get into these head huddles about hockey.

I don’t know how he does it. How does he get my dad to huddle his head with him? I’ve never been able to do that. Instead, my dad’s head stays tense and upright when he talks to me about my life.

“Why are your grades not what they need to be, Kavleen?”

Underneath the table, my fingers fidget.

“You have all the opportunities I didn’t,” my dad says. “But you don’t focus on school. You are always out.”

I had looked to Tyler for a rescue. Most of the time I was out withhim, because the captain of the hockey team can’t showup anywhere alone. That’s what I’ve been told by him so many times.

Tyler gives me a sheepish glance, but stays quiet. My dad continues to admonish me, but there’s no defense I can make. I’m not gifted. School doesn’t click in my brain. You know how multiple-choice tests usually have two very close answers, where only one of them is absolutely right? I always pick the wrong one. I’m not failing my subjects, but at this rate I’m not getting into college either.

The dinner conversation moves on, because my mom subtly switches the topic. Now we’re talking about Tyler and how he’s going to make it to the NHL. My dad is absolutely certain about this.

Tyler praises my dad, talking about this huge coaching opportunity coming together in Seattle.

They take turns, reveling in their accomplishments and work ethic. My mom’s pasta is doted on. I’m just—eating. My cheeks heat. Why does it feel like everyone is doing so great in life, but I’m still struggling? That I haven’t actually doneanythingworth celebrating.

Later that day, Tyler hugs me.

“Don’t mind your dad,” he says to me in private. “Ilove you. Focus on that.”

Iamtrying to focus on that. That’s why I’ve gotten all dressed up for prom, even though I’m sick. I want to support him tonight, but also…

High school feels like it’s ending too fast. I’m not ready for it to be over, because I don’t know what happens after. I’m afraid if I skip prom, time will move even faster. No, I need to cling onto every moment right now… and to support Tyler. Can’t forget that.

Especially since he’s so good at whispering supportive things to me.

“Not everyone is good at school. You have me, and I’m going to need you, especially when I become a pro hockey player. Babes, I’m going to take care of everything for us. I don’t care if you aren’t the smartest girl, because I love you. You are my girl.”

I put on the finishing touches to my makeup and go to prom. Inside, the lights, intrusive balloons, neon streamers and thumping music make my head hurt. My forehead is hot. Time feels like molasses. When I finally spot Tyler, I see he’s whispering into another girl’s ear. I don’t recognize her. I’m moving forward quickly.

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