Page 26 of Breaking Away

Lokhov followed me. The rain makes his dark hair curl under his ears. I can’t see from this distance, but I imagine even his eyelashes have thickened with water.

He’s seen to it that I got home, and now that the nuisance of my safety is no longer on his conscience—for who knows what other silly accidents I could have gotten into—he turns and walks away.

“Sorry,” I whisper, as if he can hear. It’s not my intention to keep bothering him, asking for all these favors.

Let me in your hotel suite. Call my fiancé to prove he’s shady. Keep my backpack safe. Come to the café and return said backpack. Save me from a minor run-in with a car. Offer to give me the clothes off your back. Walk me home in the rain.

It’s a lot.

This should be the last time I burden Dmitri Lokhov, the enemy of my ex. We don’t have a reason to meet after this. I shouldn’t be thinking about him.

I shouldn’t be thinking about any man. Not after I was betrayed by one in the worst way when I thought I loved and trusted him.

My judgment is screwed up. I need to sort myself out. I need to get back up and figure out what happens next… Somehow…

As I head up to my hotel room, my mind reels and offers me an inappropriate thought.What would it be like to be faking it with Lokhov? To be seen with him?

His offer burns in my mind.

Tyler would be livid, my mother disappointed, and my father upset.

I press a hand to my cheek. It’s so warm and my heart is pounding so loudly at the thought.

To prove to everyone I have options, but also an option like him. To be purely selfish and completely self-centered. To ignore what anyone else thinks and to go for it.

But that’s not even the main reason I am wondering about this, I realize. I am fantasizing about it not just because Tylerwouldn’t want it to happen…but because I just might want it to happen.

My ragged sigh fills the room up.

For longer than a split second, I want to be that person. The person who just says fuck it and goes for it. Who steps forward and puts myself out there.

It’s not going to happen.

Chances are, I’ll never see Lokhov again.

11

DMITRI

Before practice the next day,I go to the team gym, hoping it’s empty but wanting credit in case Coach Forrester asks if I’ve been getting closer to my teammates.

It’s not empty.

Adrian Hughes is there. Captain of the Wings. Big. Blonde. Cocky. Loves women so much there’s a new one on his arm every week. He always has a stupid grin on his face and new jokes to crack.

Right now he’s benching double his weight, whistling. When he sees me, he stops. Surprise shoots his eyebrows up. “Lokhov. The Ice Wall. You’ve never joined me before. Don’t you workout by yourself?”

“Not here for you.” I take off my hoodie. There’s no need to warm-up since I spent the last hour doing cardio at my home gym. I go straight for the weights.

Hughes going back to lifting. “Stop breaking my heart. Not when I pine for you, Wall.”

Speaking to him only makes it worse, so I don’t. Not that Hughes cares. Everyone on the team knows not to bother mewith small-talkexceptHughes. He chats, sharing random facts or personal revelations about his life.

Over the years, despite ignoring him, some of the information has stuck. I know he has a big family, his dick is calledPowerplayby whoever he sleeps with, and the most tragic thing to happen to him is that he’s allergic to animals.

If the man wasn’t an offensive sniper, who can shoot and stickhandle circles around anyone, I’d question why he was captain.

My muscles protest as I lower myself to the bench press.Fuck.Between playing and traveling for games, training, and sessions with the physiotherapist, my body is regularly sore, but this morning I woke up exhausted.

---